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Thread: Old fashioned Mother!

  1. #1
    nearlymrsT
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    Default Old fashioned Mother!

    I'm beginning to realise that my Mum is going to be a nightmare as the months go by! She's still going on about how 'your not properly married unless it's under the eyes of God' - Neither me or H2B are believers, so would be wrong of us to have a religious ceremony and would be starting our marriage off with a lie. Solution to this - i'm ignoring her emotional blackmail and we are having a Humanist ceremony - am yet to tell her this.

    Now the latest thing is about my dress. Not been shopping yet but any websites I tell her to look at only have a couple 'not bad' dresses and the rest are showing too much flesh in her opinion. Does she expect me to be in a polo neck, long sleeved virginal number???

    Anybody else's Mum become a living breathing Victorian ma'am since they started planning or is it just me? I'm dreading involving her in things incase she shoots everything down but she's my mum, i don't want to fall out when planning the happiest day of my life!

    Sorry for the rant, just taking her snide comments to heart a bit.

  2. #2
    Super Senior Platinum Member SpecialSundae's Avatar
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    My mum's had her moments. Admittedly she realised from the get go that I would not be wearing a deeply modest dress (I believe her phrase was "no one would recognise her without cleavage") but she's been absolutely set on inviting everyone she knows and was deeply against me wearing a red dress.

    Is it worth sitting down and talking to her one to one? Find out why she's suddenly being terribly traditional and explain that her behaviour is stressing you out?
    Fairy Gokmother

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    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialSundae View Post
    (I believe her phrase was "no one would recognise her without cleavage")
    OMG! Sorry, but that made me laugh! xxx

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    Yep!
    When we went dress shopping it was all 'tut tut' because nearly all the dresses were strapless - it's not right in a church. Then she was nearly having an argument with the florist because she doesn't like hand-tied bouquets and wanted oasis used (!). And I couldn't even begin to explain the discussions we've had over photographers and their "arty styles", taking meaningless pictures, all this nonsense of photographing the bride getting ready, I could go on ...!
    But we've got there, it's just taken a lot of explaining that things have moved on since she was married, bless her!

  5. #5
    nearlymrsT
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    Quote Originally Posted by All-in-a-fankle View Post
    Yep!
    When we went dress shopping it was all 'tut tut' because nearly all the dresses were strapless - it's not right in a church. Then she was nearly having an argument with the florist because she doesn't like hand-tied bouquets and wanted oasis used (!). And I couldn't even begin to explain the discussions we've had over photographers and their "arty styles", taking meaningless pictures, all this nonsense of photographing the bride getting ready, I could go on ...!
    But we've got there, it's just taken a lot of explaining that things have moved on since she was married, bless her!
    Well it's comforting to know that someone else has gone through a similar experience and lived to tell the tale! My mum will be 60 the year we get married, mother in law will be 50 so as you can imagine, they differ in their opinions greatly and had very different weddings themselves. My mum is yet to see our venue or our photographers portfolio, i'm predicting she won't 'get it'. how long am i going to last before pulling out the 'well you're not paying for any of it so you can't tell us what to do' card?!

    Specialsundae - speaking to my mum one to one would be ideal but she lives 250miles away so don't see her very often (thats perhaps a good thing sometimes ) but thats why i'm very conscience of trying to get her involved as all of my friends and in laws live close to me. Sorry but I do think your mums comment about your cleavage is hilarious I'm sure your dress makes you look fabulous! x

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    Quote Originally Posted by mazgillies View Post
    OMG! Sorry, but that made me laugh! xxx
    Me too - actually laughed out loud in the garden (neighbours will think I'm mad) Only a mum can be so honest!

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    Super Senior Member fireworks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialSundae View Post
    "no one would recognise her without cleavage"
    Lol just had to reply to this!! When i went dress shopping the Shop assistant pulled out a dress and said it made brides a bit "booby" and my Mum said "don't worry, Fiona is usually booby!"

    Fxx
    xxx Bob&Fiona 5/11/11 xxx

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    Super Senior Platinum Member SpecialSundae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fireworks View Post
    Lol just had to reply to this!! When i went dress shopping the Shop assistant pulled out a dress and said it made brides a bit "booby" and my Mum said "don't worry, Fiona is usually booby!"

    Fxx
    I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

    I have to confess that I was the sort of little girl who spent her early teens desperately wanting her bust to grow!
    Fairy Gokmother

  9. #9
    pinkbubbles
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    I think that even though I will be 41 when I get married, I will still to too scared to show cleavage in front of my dad!! I can just hear his voice 'go and get those covered up young lady!'
    Saying that, at a 36e cup, I feel they are just the centre of attention at times, and want people to see my face this time please!!!
    My dress that I have fallen in love with, is strappless but also just enough for an oldie like me. Haha. When I was trying it on, the woman asked if I wanted my mum to have lessons on lacing me up, and I told her that due to my tattoo on my back, that I couldn't let her see my back. She laughed when I told her that she would send me to my dad to explain to him what I had done, and he would make me hang my head in shame!
    So even at my age, I still worry at what my parents will think about certain things!!

    R xx

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    Super Senior Platinum Member BalbirnieDreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbubbles View Post
    I think that even though I will be 41 when I get married, I will still to too scared to show cleavage in front of my dad!! I can just hear his voice 'go and get those covered up young lady!'
    Saying that, at a 36e cup, I feel they are just the centre of attention at times, and want people to see my face this time please!!!
    My dress that I have fallen in love with, is strappless but also just enough for an oldie like me. Haha. When I was trying it on, the woman asked if I wanted my mum to have lessons on lacing me up, and I told her that due to my tattoo on my back, that I couldn't let her see my back. She laughed when I told her that she would send me to my dad to explain to him what I had done, and he would make me hang my head in shame!
    So even at my age, I still worry at what my parents will think about certain things!!

    R xx
    That made me laugh! My folks don't know about my tattoo's on my back either so that will be BM's duties on the day! I'm worrying now about going on holiday with the future in-laws next Sat as they don't know I have more than the 2 tattoo's they've seen and they might not want their son marrying a tattoo'd burd! I keep forgetting I'm a grown woman and shouldn't worry about what they think!
    Lx
    Craig and Laura's Wedding Website
    16th of June 2012

  11. #11
    pinkbubbles
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    It's funny, my MIL2B knows about my tattoo, but I couldn't even contemplate telling my parents. I guess I am still daddy's little princess at heart, and don't want to disappoint him!!!
    R x

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    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialSundae View Post
    I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

    I have to confess that I was the sort of little girl who spent her early teens desperately wanting her bust to grow!
    Sweetheart, at least you have boobs....I'm mostly padding

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    My mother told me our wedding wasn't a proper wedding as it's not in a church and see all this stuff about being walked down the aisle and orders of ceremony, this is just what people do to make themselves feel better about not having a church wedding!!!!!!! Didn't speak for about a month after this discussion!! Himself and I are not the least bit religious so we don't see the point in having a church wedding just to please them. Fortunately, she realised if she didn't change this attitude, she wouldn't be involved!

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    Super Senior Platinum Member BalbirnieDreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mazgillies View Post
    Sweetheart, at least you have boobs....I'm mostly padding
    Lol, I was gonna say that! Why, when you lose weight, does it always come off the boobs? Especially when there wasn't much there in the first place!?
    Lx
    Craig and Laura's Wedding Website
    16th of June 2012

  15. #15
    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    Tell me about it! I've lost nearly 2 stones.....all off my boobie-doo's!
    Last edited by mazgillies; 22-04-2011 at 06:44 AM. Reason: spelling!

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    Senior Member Scribblemouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbubbles View Post
    It's funny, my MIL2B knows about my tattoo, but I couldn't even contemplate telling my parents. I guess I am still daddy's little princess at heart, and don't want to disappoint him!!!
    R x
    My dad was pretty darn funny about them at first. Very, "Harrumph!" But I think he's gotten used to the idea now, since these ones are only small (it's the half-sleeves I'm after that I wonder how he'll be with lol).

    That said, he texted me the other night to tell me about a tattoo and piercing show he was watching on the TV. It had Rhod Gilbert in it, so maybe that meant it was alright? He seemed to quite enjoy it, in any case. I've yet to watch it.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    I've got a wee Mackintosh rose on my shoulder. Mums pal came dress shopping with us and was determined to get me to try on one of those one shoulder jobs so it would cover up my tattoo. I then reminded her about the 2 stars on my wrist......one for each marathon I've run. She scurried away and sat on the couch after that!!

  18. #18
    pinkbubbles
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    Quote Originally Posted by mazgillies View Post
    I've got a wee Mackintosh rose on my shoulder. Mums pal came dress shopping with us and was determined to get me to try on one of those one shoulder jobs so it would cover up my tattoo. I then reminded her about the 2 stars on my wrist......one for each marathon I've run. She scurried away and sat on the couch after that!!
    Don't you just love it when someone else decies to wade in with advice on something that they have no actual right to so over??? Glad she had her lips metaphorically stapled by you!
    2 marathons??? Gosh, I envy your fitness. Well done you x

  19. #19
    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkbubbles View Post
    Don't you just love it when someone else decies to wade in with advice on something that they have no actual right to so over??? Glad she had her lips metaphorically stapled by you!
    2 marathons??? Gosh, I envy your fitness. Well done you x
    It's a beautiful wee tattoo, not something huge and inappropriate to show at a wedding.....i'm hardly Amy Winehouse! Lol.

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    Senior Member Scribblemouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mazgillies View Post
    It's a beautiful wee tattoo, not something huge and inappropriate to show at a wedding.....i'm hardly Amy Winehouse! Lol.
    I better make sure I don't get my half-sleeves before my wedding! They'll be highly inappropriate!

  21. #21
    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scribblemouse View Post
    I better make sure I don't get my half-sleeves before my wedding! They'll be highly inappropriate!
    Lol!!!

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    My MIL2B seems quite set on tradition but she'll never say it to my face. You can see the disappointment in her eyes when we tell her about something we're not doing that she done at her wedding. Frankly, the opinion of a woman who had bells on her tiara is not likely to be a sane one.
    05/08/12 - In your face Dad, someone is stupid enough to marry me.

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    Super Senior Member loobieb2b's Avatar
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    My mil2b was a pain to begin with when i told her the colours we were going for (black and silver) she was like thats not wedding colours thats funeral colours why dont you go for wine i told her straight and hubby 2 b said too lol. She was even trying to get me to wear the family tartan i was like hell nooo!! Now she has backed off and letting use do what ever we want our wedding is anything but traditional lol Maybe you need to sit down and expalin nicely as much as you can how things have changed since she got married and hopefully she will back off a bit and also tell her that the things she has been saying have been hurting you, she has probably not realised that she is hurting you with those remarks that she has said to you.
    I guess its just mums they want it to be the best day of your life and i think they tend to go with what they want instead of what You want!
    Good luck chick!! let use know how it goes x

  24. #24
    Super Senior Member loobieb2b's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scribblemouse View Post
    I better make sure I don't get my half-sleeves before my wedding! They'll be highly inappropriate!
    Hahahaaa made me laugh!! i have a big gothic fairy on my back and thats defo getting showed on the day, h2b is covered in tattoos (he is a tattoist) so think his mum has gave up lol although there is an on going argument with him and his mum with what boots he is going to wear with his kilt and he has madfish rocker boots and she thinks he is wearing them so he is just keeping her going,up until the wedding day when he will suprise his mum with kilt boots hahahahhaa

  25. #25
    Platinum Member mazgillies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Special K's J View Post
    My MIL2B seems quite set on tradition but she'll never say it to my face. You can see the disappointment in her eyes when we tell her about something we're not doing that she done at her wedding. Frankly, the opinion of a woman who had bells on her tiara is not likely to be a sane one.
    OMG! Bells on her tiara? Really????? Excellent! Hahaha

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