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Thread: More baby chat..

  1. #1
    Senior Member ***kirsty***'s Avatar
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    Default More baby chat..

    Just looking for a bit of advice from you ladies in the know!! I'm chief bridesmaid for my friend next summer. She has just announced she is pregnant and baby due 3 weeks before wedding. My initial thought was that maybe she would postpone the wedding but she hasn't even considered that and seems to think she will be totally fine to go ahead with the wedding just 3 weeks after giving birth. I'm worried for a few reasons.. what if baby is late then she has less than 3 weeks to get organised. What if she or baby is ill, have to stay in hospital? Also she has decided she will wait till after the baby arrives to have her dress fitting, alterations etc, which I didn't even think was possible in such a short time!! I really don't think she'll feel up to it!

    Just don't want it to get closer to the wedding then she realises 3 weeks isn't enough - eeeeek!! I don't have any children, so have no idea about childbirth and recovery, but thinking 3 weeks isn't very long!! I want to help as much as I can but not sure what to do!!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member April-Bride's Avatar
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    Hi,

    It's lovely that you are thinking of her. You don't know what it's like until you've actually experienced it. And i've been through it twice!

    Mine are only 3 and 10 months, and both were natural but difficult labours. I was ill for a while after my first. But after my second I was full of energy and even had a big family christmas last year, with cooking and seeing lots of family - 5 days after having my daughter.

    There's no way she'll know how it's going to go. But the important thing is that she has people like you around her that will be helping her

    xxx
    23rd April 2011

  3. #3
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    Wow you are a good BM and your friend sounds a bit crazy lol! If she does want to keep the date, I think you should try your best to ensure she has everything done at least 2 weeks before the baby is due. That way if the baby is early, everything will still be done.

    Also get her to pass on to you all the booking details, or share these between a few people, so that if she is ill or not feeling up to it, other people know the plans and can finalise them.

    RE her dress, yes I think 3 weeks is a bit tight. All of my friends who have had babies recently have still have a baby tummy for around 1 month after having the baby, so even if a shop could turn it around that fast she may not want a very fitted dress if she still has a round tum. Why not persuade her to go for something floaty, bit 'Grecian' - she's more likely to feel comfortable in that after the birth, and if the baby is really late hopefully it would still fit her!

    You are an awesome BM, good luck!

  4. #4
    Senior Member ***kirsty***'s Avatar
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    Thanks girls for your advice. I still can't get my head round the situation and the fact she thinks it will be a breeze to get married just 3 weeks after giving birth. Hmph.. I suggested looking at other style dresses, for example, the lovely floaty/grecian types in Monsoon which you can buy off the rail, but she said she loves the dress she has bought and intends to keep it, so didn't want to push anymore about that.

    Think you are right tho, best I can do is make sure she is as organised as poss, and everything is tied up before the baby arrives. Why do I have the feeling I'll be left as babysitter at the wedding too - eeeeeeeek!!

  5. #5
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    Oh my...

    My Eva is 6 months now and we get married in May. She's one the weekend of the wedding!! yay!

    I can honestly say I felt like a train had hit me for about 6 weeks after I had her! lol... ok perhaps a slight exageration... but I had a C section so was really weak for ages. I had previously agreed to go back to work when she was 9 weeks. First baby so didn't realise how much it takes out of you! I was shattered!

    Anyway, that was just me and everyone is different. I think after the first you can just pop them out... lol.. Well thats what I am hoping for if we are lucky enough to have any more! :-)

    She is sooo... going to need your support. Brings a whole new meaning to chief BM :-)

    Good luck hon xx

  6. #6
    Super Senior Platinum Member BalbirnieDreamer's Avatar
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    Hey, I'm a student midwife in my final year so thought I'd drop in my opinion! If your friend goes past her date (which is very common, esp. if its her first child) then she wouldn't be induced into labour until 10-14 days after her date which would be cutting it fine. And if she needed a section (fingers crossed that doesn't happen) then that itself is major surgery and can take around 6 weeks to recover. Even with a normal delivery, midwives visit until baby is 10 days old and it might be extra stress on her to tie up wedding plans if having to care for a new baby. Every woman is different though and she may be able to cope with such a busy time! Good luck whatever she decides and congratulations on her pregnancy!
    Lx
    Craig and Laura's Wedding Website
    16th of June 2012

  7. #7
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    Oh Balbirnie Dreamer...don't mention going over due date. I am due my first baby in just over 1 week and am praying it comes sooner lol. I totally agree about the stress thing - the last few weeks of pregnancy are very stressful, uncomfortable and very tiring as well as exciting! I don't think I'd want to be thinking about wedding plans that far on. So much baby planning to be thinking about!!! :-)

  8. #8
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    hi sorry to above poster...you should maybe stop reading now!.. but my SIL ended up having 48 hour labour which started 16 DAYS over her due date!! If that happened to ure bride (and I wouldn't wish that on anyone!) that would give her 3 days to get organised!! including obviously getting out of hospital, looking after brand new baby etc!! sounds like madness to me! Genuinely the very best of luck to you all! let us know how it goes! xx

  9. #9
    Senior Member ***kirsty***'s Avatar
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    Thanks for all your comments! I have no children so it's helpful to hear how some of you felt after giving birth!! Well, my friend is still going ahead with all plans so far. I've not seen her since she announced her pregnancy, so seeing her at weekend and hopefully have a chat and make sure she is ok with things, and is aware of all possible scenarios! Wish me luck!!! xx

  10. #10
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    Kirsty, my wee boy was born a week past his due date, i had a fairly straightforward birth with no problems, and he was about 4 weeks old before i even got dressed and 6 weeks before i left the house!! maybe she's a better woman than me but it wouldn't be me!!

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