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Thread: Venue from a previous relationship is back in touch

  1. #1
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    Default Venue from a previous relationship is back in touch

    Hi everyone,


    A few days ago I posted seeking advice about eloping/a small wedding with my OH before he joins the forces. Today, however, I received a phone call from a venue I had booked with my ex.

    We split 2 years ago (although the relationship was over way before that). I was actually a member of the forum then, under a different username. Our relationship was turbulent to say the least and it didn't help that his mother and sister stabbed me in the back big time (issues with his daughters maternal grandmother and auntie, his daughter's mother had passed away - ring any bells haha?)

    In the end we split after months of arguing, his family accusing me of all sorts to save their own skins, him agreeing with them behind my back to ensure his babysitters were still available etc. I left about 1000 worth of furniture with him, didn't pursue the 1000 he owed me and moved my son 50 miles back up the road and home. I was on anti depressants and had a very, very bad run in with my bipolar (which had been under control until then, and is now).

    I cancelled the wedding and got a confirmation email of that, however we didn't get the deposit back (well, I never as he had paid, whether he did or not is another story). I've not heard from my ex since, aside from asking him for my stuff and being refused.

    Today the venue in question phoned me and asked for final numbers. I was in work and never answered but tried to phone back but couldn't get through. I've emailed them and told them all of this, with no response yet. The wedding has been cancelled for 2 years, along with other suppliers, and I've not been in contact with them. Someone obviously hasn't removed our date from the diary. I cannot find my emails confirming the cancellation as they were permanently removed from my gmail account to stop me getting the payment details (such a lovely ex!)

    Do you think the venue will pursue action? I can't provide evidence of the cancelled wedding, aside from a non-existent relationship.

  2. #2
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    I’m thinking back to when we booked ours & we signed a contract (both of us) I’m assuming if you both signed one & there is no record of cancellation they could legally be entitled to some money, but I find it hard to believe that they didn’t look for any additional money within the last 2 years & they still thought all was ok with the booking, given that you wouldn’t have been in touch either to confirm or ask anything. See what they say to your reply it might be ok, might even be just an automated email or something as silly as your name wasn’t taken out the diary, hopefully all is ok

  3. #3
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    Yeah I hope it's something daft. I've tried to contact google to see if they can resurrect the deleted emails.

    In 2 years I've not asked any questions, been contacted once or had suppliers contact them. Surely you'd realised. I tried phoning 5 times today to no avail and emailed once. I wish I had just picked up that bloody phone when it rang!

  4. #4
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    I phoned them 6 times yesterday, between 12pm and 4pm, and 3 times this morning, between 9am and now (10.18am). I sent one email yesterday in between phone calls. There has been no reply and no answer in the office - what an absolute shambles of a place. Thank god I had cancelled, can you imagine if I were trying to get in touch over the last 2 years to finalise/plan and had to go through the same nonsense?

  5. #5
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    Thats shocking, hopefully you do hear back soon tho as you'll just worry until then

  6. #6
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    Finally got through.
    She had my email from 28th Sept 2014, and her defence was "we told you that if you wanted the deposit back you'd need to write in" to which I replied "it was my deposit or money, I advised my ex-partner of that. If he never wrote to ask then I'm assuming he didn't want it or couldn't be bothered". Her only argument was "you never asked for the deposit back so we weren't sure" "yes, it wasn't my money and given the nature of the break up I wasn't contacting my ex to make sure he got his money back", "but the deposit money is still here" "yes, I am aware of that now". Head, wall, meet. .... despite a few lengthy emails she still had saying it was cancelled and her agreeing that it would be removed from the diary!

    She then got very terse on the phone and hung up.

  7. #7
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    thats good, I'd worry no more then, if your ex didnt want the money back then thats his problem

  8. #8
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    I can't understand why they seem to have made a bigger issue out of it that it is. It was booked and a deposit paid, it was cancelled (even if they messed up and didn't strike it out the diary or something) and they keep the deposit. Isn't that what a deposit is for, to be kept by them in case of cancellation to recover costs in case they cant book it out to another wedding at this point?

    At least it's over with now and you can move forwards into your future with your new partner

  9. #9
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    I remember the awful time you went through with that crazy family! Hope you're doing ok. Hoping things are better for you now you're out of that crazy situation!

    This situation stinks of if you'd pursued the deposit they would have fought to not give it back to you but because you didn't it was bizarre. Their fault if they had your cancellation in writing.

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