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Thread: Humanist Vs Registrar

  1. #1
    Senior Member Arranbride's Avatar
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    Default Humanist Vs Registrar

    Hi ladies,

    OH and I are debating over which would be best. I think a humanist would be more personal but OH is put off by a wedding we were at a few years ago where the ceremony was very cheesy.

    Just wondering what you've all went for and why? Also is there a cost difference between them both? As we are getting married on a Sunday the registrar is costing us 435.

    TIA xx


    Donna x


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    We are going for a humanist over the registrar. We did question whether or not it would be a little cheesy though. I do want something more personal that a registrar, and we aren't religious at all, so humanist it is! We are both really keen on the ribbon handfasting part too. We are going to see if they will keep it shortish to cover the basic stuff and have a friend do a reading as well. I guess all you can do is talk to them about what you want if you go with a humanist

  3. #3

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    I'm a celebrant, so clearly not impartial, but I hope my answer helps

    More and more couples getting married are looking for a ceremony that is personal, and registrars are doing their best to respond to that. So you may see that some register offices will advertise that they include handfastings, unity candles etc and they will offer several options for you to personalise your ceremony. However it does really depend on which local authority you are getting married in and the individuals who are working in the registration office. At the end of the day they are sometimes constrained by budgets and other workload.

    Also, depending on which local authority you are getting married in, you may not actually meet the person who is holding your ceremony until your wedding day.

    With a humanist, interfaith, or any other celebrant your wedding will be held by someone who has specifically chosen to do this work. In most cases you will have met with them before your wedding, and they will have worked with you to create your ceremony - in whatever way you want. Each ceremony that I hold is created for the couple getting married. Some people want lots of romance, others prefer a lighter approach, some are family events involving lots of children, others are small sophisticated gatherings, some last nearly an hour, others are less than 10 minutes - each one is different.

    Before a wedding I always send couples a full copy of the script so that they can change anything they are unhappy with. Occasionally changing a couple of words makes all the difference between personal and 'cheesy' - and each couple will have their own preferences. If you end up with a ceremony which doesn't meet your preferences and expectations, then you've got the wrong celebrant! You could phone a couple of celebrants and ask them about their approach and how they work, and probably even meet with them before you make your decision.

    You will probably find that there is not a big difference in price - particularly if you want the registrar or other celebrant to come to your venue at a weekend. As a rough guide I suggest that people budget about 450 - 600 for their ceremony plus their legal paperwork.
    Jane

    jane@yourserviceinscotland.co.uk

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    Senior Member Arranbride's Avatar
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    Thank you very much Jane, that information helps a lot


    Donna x


  5. #5
    Member gingerbride's Avatar
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    We went for a humanist and so glad we did. Maybe other people felt it was cheesy but to us it had the perfect mix of humour and sincerity - not many ceremonies mention the groom pole dancing 😉

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    Hi Arranbride, We're going for a humanist wedding and most people I've spoken to, one being a humanist celebrant, say the official but takes less than 5mins... Everything else cheesy or otherwise is what you add to it like readings/poems/songs... So it can be as in-cheesy as your OH wants it. Mine will probably want the 5min part and on to the party, think I'm the same!!!


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    We went for a humanist as well and I'm so glad we did. We pretty much wrote our own ceremony, chose our own vows etc. You can personalise the ceremony so much and it's not cheesy at all. We found it was a little more expensive than a registrar but it's absolutely worth it.


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    I always quite wanted a humanist but when I spoke to the registrar (Perthshire and Kinross) they told me they now do personal ceremonies. They meet with yu before to discuss the type of ceremony you would want. They are now happy for you to have so many different things in your ceremony, very like a humanist.

    We are having personal readings, our own vows and a handfasting ceremony - and it is costing about 200 less than humanist was.

    Overall in happy we got the balance of the type of service we want!

  9. #9
    Junior Member faye's Avatar
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    Hi donna,

    I felt the same as you, wanted something personal but not religious. I actually found an interfaith registra, he's basically like a humanist but not tied by those constraints, so makes it a lot more tailored to what you want. He also gives you the opportunity to have a hand fasting ceremony included too.
    We are paying 250 and that also covers the cost of travel to Perth from Edinburgh. So very seasonable! We met up with him in person and he is a lovely man with lots of experience. His name is Andrew Hunter, I'm sure you could find him on Google. 😊

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    Senior Member Arranbride's Avatar
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    Thanks for all you replies. I'll look into all options xx


    Donna x


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    Hi Arranbride - I got married last weekend and we opted for a humanist celebrant. Both of us have had religion in our lives at some point, but neither are religious now as such. My now-hubby (!) told me he had been to several humanist ceremonies in the past, one of which was the best ceremony he'd been to, and another was one of his least favourites! So there is quite a lot of variation, and I think some of it depends on who you have as a celebrant.

    We are both SO happy with how our humanist ceremony went. We found a super lady called Jane Bechtel who was so friendly and approachable. We had huge input into our ceremony and so it made it really personal to us, and it was outdoors in a little patch of woodland, beside a loch, so it all seemed to fit perfectly. Lots of people commented on the beauty of the ceremony, and a few people even commented on how it had changed their views on humanist ceremonies. An engaged couple of friends of mine said they were now considering a humanist ceremony instead of the Catholic ceremony they had previously been thinking about!

    I think the standard cost for a celebrant from the Humanist Society Scotland is 400, but you may have to pay extra for travel. Our celebrant travelled from Perth to Inverness-shire, but it was so worth it!

    Hope that helps

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