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Thread: In need of some advice and support

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    15

    Default In need of some advice and support

    Hi ladies,

    Im in a little need of some advice. My middle sister, whom I asked to be a bridesmaid is doing my head in. When we first got engaged I had planned a dinner with immediate family memebrs and friends. It just so happened to fall on the same weekend as my dads graduation weekend. I had asked him prior to booking to make sure this was ok, to which he said he did not have a problem. My sister created a huge ruccus about it and said I was well out of order, I was being selfish and had no right to do this even though Id cleared it with my dad. We originally had it at 8pm as thats the only time we could get. My mum then asked to change it to a lunch for my grandparents to ensure they could make it (knowing full well they wouldnt asthey are too ill) So I changed it to 3pm. I found out two days before that my grandparents could not make it, so I called the restaurant who advsied they had a slot at 5.30pm. so I changed it to then so everyone could make it from work, their kids could make it etc.

    Well for this I was called a liar, selfish an dsrespectful. I was told that I did not give enough notice. As it was a dinner mostly with friends and famly,I asked if it would be ok for people to pay for their own dinners. Everyone was fine wth this and had no issues at all. My sister text me and said "how dare you ask people to pay for their own meals. I was called everything under the sun. And the best bit is she didnt even turn up as she said she couldnt afford it. I didnt speak to her and I was told I was horrible to her and cold. She ruined my engagement dinner and had me in tears during it.

    She has started causing problems for me which are unrelated to the wedding. I now keep feeling like this is all my fault when I know it is not.

    People are saying its jealosy and shes just annoyed its not her who is the centre of attenion for once. Im really sorry for the long post, im just now stressing out about it and fed up, needing a little moral support lol. I just dont know how to react to this.

    Thanks in advance and sorry about the long post lol

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Hey,
    Really sorry to hear this, sounds like your sister is suffering from jealousy issues and taking them all out on you.

    It's completely unfair.
    Is she the type who will come round if you have a quiet chat with her or who will continue on regardless?

    How are your parents responding to her? Are they aware this is all going on? Do they normally let her away with being so horrible to her siblings? Would they be able or willing to help?

    You certainly don't sound like a liar, selfish or disrespectful for arranging an engagement dinner with your friends and family. Especially as the only person who may have had an issue (your dad) was fine with it.

    Weddings bring out the worst in people, I'm experiencing it myself and it's just making me really angry at the people who are supposed to be supportive and happy for us.

    Hope things get better really soon. Sorry if I've not actually been any help, you just sounded like you needed someone to listen.

    Lauren

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Hi Lauren, yeah just getting more peeved off than anything now. I'm starting to feel like everything is all my fault and that I'm the one causing it all.

    My parents see how she is, but due to the young kids they don't say anything as she's good at using them as pawns against us all.

    We can all see she is unhappy and taking it out on us all but I'm just at the end of my tether now.

    I don't really want her as a bridesmaid after everything goes she has said but I'm trying to be the bigger person and not upset my parents by doing so.

    I'm doing as much overtime at work as possible as it's another 10 an hour on top of my pay so not to be sniffed at, just meant I didn't see my niece and nephew at easter but I need all the help I can get for the wedding
    She can't undrlerstand this and is getting G annoyed and angry at me for doing exactly what she did when she was getting good married lol.

    I'm just having a rant so I'm really sorry. I have no one else to talk to about this ��

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    13

    Default

    i think you should "kill her with kindness." i think you understand that she is jealous for whatever reason and despite her being nasty at the moment, you love her because she is your sister. smile, be extra nice and involve her whenever you can (although this will test your patience beyond measure) and enjoy your wedding planning.

    this tactic has two benefits of a) being happy drives jealous/unhappy people nuts and b) she won't have anything to complain about you for.

    obviously the dinner thing has already happened but for future stuff you could always ask her advice beforehand... folk who are consulted rarely moan. hope you get there in the end :-)

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