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Thread: Hen weekend politics

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2015
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    Default Hen weekend politics

    So need a wee rant/other peoples perspective on hen weekends.......

    I've left it up to my bridal girls to plan my hen weekend and just said I wanted something in Scotland, nice and relaxed, a weekend away where folks can come, relax and we can have a nice catch up as everyone is so busy with kids etc that its hard for all of us to get together so this is a perfect excuse, nothing fancy just a nice place to stay, drinks and if something can be organised for folk if they do want to do something then great but nothing like an abroad week or big expensive day out forcing people to go to something they don't want to, thought I was being very considerate for everyone and they would all like this idea

    They have costed it up for 2 nights away, activity, dinner out, all food and drink for around 200 per person, now I know to some people that will sound cheap, to others very expensive, my first thought is its not that bad and we're given people over 7 months notice of when it is so surely over that time, if people do want to come, then they have time to save?

    Think starting to feel a bit put out already as some people have said its far too expensive and the excuses are starting to roll in already which does annoy me as for everyone that I've said to invite I have gone to similar things for them, paying the same if not more (occasionally a lot more) on some occasions so why are they now kicking up a fuss when its my turn? oh the stress of it all and just wanted somewhere to rant where hopefully I'm not the only one in this situation!

    I've said I'm happy with the accommodation costs and the rest of the cost (which is about 100) is for things that people can chop and change if they want to participate or not, hopefully that will soften the blow for some of them but I think I will be upset if they don't come because its going to cost 60 more than they initially though, grand scheme of things this is the only hen I ever plan on having and I want them there with me!

    Feel bit better even just typing this out but really hope people do decide to make it along and enjoy it, I'd hate for them to come and be silently seething at the cost, but I'd also hate them to not be there, never going to please everyone I suppose! Anyone else had hen party dramas similar?! xxx

  2. #2
    Super Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Aberdeen
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    Default

    It sounds like you really are trying to keep this affordable which will annoy you even more!
    I was the exact same, i told my bridesmaids a weekend to a scottish city and ask everyone for no more than 250, im sure some people had a moan but i asked my bridesmaids to ask for 100 by a certain date, then to ask for the further 150 by another date 3months after so everyone did have plenty notice. Could you try asking for money on two seperate dates? (I find that way people don't get so scared by cost!) It is sad when you've done it for others, i spent a fortune going to London for one of my friends hens then another fortune going to her wedding back in her home town in Ireland, but she never came to my hen because she was going to go on holiday the Monday after.... Bit annoying!! x

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
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    32

    Default

    My bridesmaids haven't been very forthcoming with ideas/ organising anything so I text my friends at the weekend to get an idea of who can make it. I decided a date at the end of May to fit in with bank holiday and and so that a friend would be back from her honeymoon. I spoke to bridesmaids and one wanted a spa and one wanted a city break. I said city would probably be more affordable for people and then I looked around for prices. I have never been to Blackpool and it's something I've always wanted to do but my partner isn't keen. I run it past the bridesmaids and one was ok with it but other said it's tacky and not the kind of thing I'd like. I really want to give it a go. I priced a hotel and for 2 nights in a twin room at a good reviewed hotel it works out at 100 each. Train is 22 return. I didn't look at what to to do but thought there was loads of options for everyone. I sent message to 9 close friends that I really wanted to come and 5 have made excuses that they can't make it. My bridesmaids have now decided that both want to take a family member with them to keep them company. These are people I know to say hello to, but I don't know why they want to come to my hen. I kinda feel that my bridesmaids have only asked them to bring numbers up.
    I have one friend who is getting married in May next year and is being great about my hen. She said if bridesmaids don't sort something she will and has asked if she can pay extra to get the suite at the hotel for her and I to share. I'm booked in to go to her hen in march which is costing around 400 for flights and accommodation for 2 nights. She has also said that she is not inviting the people that made rubbish excuses about the hen to the wedding because she gave 9 months notice.
    How much do people expect to pay for a hen with 2 nights away? I see it as a mini break. I think a lot of people now look for this to be paid for by the bride because of Don't Tell the Bride.x

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    18

    Default

    Thanks girls - nice to know its not just me going through this! I think it was the initial email with the full cost that scared a few folk but it is only a deposit of 40 they are asking to pay just now which I really don't think is too bad!

    Mrsmccormack thats awful, its your hen if you want to go to Blackpool, you go to Blackpool, if you wanted to go anywhere its your hen so your choice! I don't get why they want to take family members with them either unless they don't know anyone else that is going, but even so you should have a say in who is invited and you want people there you know and can be comfortable around, not new people that don't know anything about you!

    I think people forget that everything on the wedding day is paid for by the bride and groom and they are getting a day out then and totally agree the hen in a mini break, which if they dont want to come to then fair enough but the rubbish excuses and flakiness of some people really annoy me when its meant to be for your friend, the bride, and the weekend/night is about her! plus I also think overall it all works out, friends get married and you pay to go to their hens/weddings so when its your turn you do expect the same back from them! xx

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