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Thread: 7 months to wedding & I've lost interest in planning

  1. #1
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    Default 7 months to wedding & I've lost interest in planning

    I'm so fed up. Frustrated, void of emotions and quite frankly not even remotely excited about our wedding day. My fiance is really starting to piss me off, for 3 months I've been constantly asking him to help with guests attending, addresses for definites, I made all my own save the dates in July, most of them are STILL in their box waiting to be sent to guests that he's not got details for. I ask him to contact them for their details and well basically for 3 months he's not bothered his arse. I've got to the stage now where I really couldn't give a crap anymore, if he's not doing his bit then quite frankly in my eyes he's just not interested. Had anyone else gotten fed up with planning? I'm literally not interested at all! Is this even normal?

  2. #2
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    I'm sorry that you've lost your wedding excitement and your fiancÚ isn't doing the things you've asked of him.

    We're 9 months away from our wedding and I feel a bit distant from the excitement too. I think that there is a lull in the planning and excitement at this stage - all the big things are done and most other things need to be done closer to the time. So you're not alone.

    As for your fiancÚ, have you told him how his actions have made you feel? I anticipated that mine wouldn't be that proactive in guest list writing and address finding so I wrote a provisional list for him so he could add or subtract and I sought out most addresses myself. We had already had some disagreements about the wedding (money! Unsurprisingly) and I wanted to avoid any conflict I could, especially me getting annoyed at him.

    I'm not sure if I've helped, but you're not alone xxx

  3. #3
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    I think its quite normal to go through these emotions at that stage, i felt the same. Like i was doing it all on my own and my fiance was just going about normal life and i was under all this pressure and stress. When i spoke (cried) to him about he said he thought i liked doing it all.... men! Maybe have a wee chat with him about how your feeling and how it is both of your days and your hardly asking him to do much!
    The excitement will start up again... i promise! Once the invites go out and the hens start it gets more stressy but also more excitement. x

  4. #4
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    When my fiancÚ and I got engaged, a friend told us that wedding planning would be a good 'test' of our relationship. I didn't really think much about that until we actually started planning! Practically, emotionally and financially it is a big test. I think most people feel the strain from time to time, and lets face it - men are not all great at wedding planning. I also lost the drive and excitement a few months ago, but just watch, it creeps up on you and one day you wake up and realise you've only got a few months to go! Once we'd booked everything and paid deposits, there wasn't much left to do and I stopped thinking about it. Now I feel like I sort of just want it done... I want to be able to spend money on other things! Don't stress, we've all been there x

  5. #5
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    Yep, I'm exactly the same. I'm just under 5 months to go and I'm beyond fed up with it. H2B is useless no amount of pleasant reminders or full on rage-rants make a blind bit of difference. I've done EVERYTHING myself with no help from anyone and I have overly opinionated Mum and Bridesmaid to deal with as well who dismiss all my ideas and suggestions and all call me selfish when I say I don't agree with their suggestions. I can't win!
    I've still got loads to do and now am at a point where I don't care about any of it anymore.
    Hopefully something will get my excitement going again!

  6. #6
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    I was like that too, I think its only natural as it is a long time spent arranging it of course your going to get bored/fed up/annoyed etc but you will be excited again.

    My h2b (now husband) when needing addresses for invites he said yeah ill get them & never did, i left them told him I wasnt chasing or going out my way they were his guests & i wasnt caring if they were there or not so it was up to him. Eventually we got the info, guys are so much different & dont see the importance of giving the actual proper invite out, a text/call would do for them, seriously!

    You will get excited again, dont worry about that

  7. #7
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    My now hubby was the same.I don’t think men quite realize the importance of things like that the way we do.In the end I did the same as joannemc and said it was up to him to get addresses and I wasn’t bothered if people from his side weren’t invited.It did work eventually!


  8. #8
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    Omg thanks ladies! I though I was the only person feeling like this lol, honestly it got so bad last night I threatened to throw in the towel lol! I have so many major family life events going on at the moment, from my mum staying in hospital and awaiting a care home to my daughter who's 19 who has a high risk pregnancy, honestly I feel emotionally pulled in all directions. I totally agree that if you can survive planning a wedding then you'll survive being married, never a truer quote! The h2b has 'promised' to sort it out this weekend hmmm....we'll see lol. I feel like your twin @embutton when I read your post I could see myself, hopefully this will get better. One thing is for sure, if my other half takes any credit for the wedding planning after the wedding then I'll file for divorce lol!

  9. #9
    Senior Platinum Member Harajuku80's Avatar
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    hi murraysmissus,

    It really is only natural to feel uninterested in wedding planning between a year and 4/5 months to go before your date especially if you aren't able to get information that you need or finalise any details. It's even worse when your OH doesn't seem interested. You should just talk to him. More often than not, you'll find that men are interested but they think they have LOADS of time left! they don't realise the actual amount of things that need to be done to organise a wedding! Believe me; when my husband and I were planning ours, he was utterly flabbergasted when I gave him the list of the things that needed finalised in the last 6 months! I did a lot of crafts etc. so it was quite tight but it was loads of fun! Once you get closer to the time and know it's not long to go, you'll find your wedding mojo again!

    You need to tell your OH how you feel and explain to him how important is that he does his part for the wedding organisation! You just need to be honest and remember he's not a mind reader so if you're unhappy and don't talk to him, he won't know! I hope he realises how much his procrastinating is bother you and gets himself up off his bum! xxx
    Friday 1st May 2015

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