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Thread: How did you choose your bridesmaids?

  1. #1
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    Default How did you choose your bridesmaids?

    My OH proposed and one of my first thoughts after was... how on earth do I choose my bridesmaids??

    I have a few very good friends, all in different 'groups' so to speak. There are two in particular I think would want me to ask them. F1 I definitely don't want, as much as I love her, she would annoy me far too much and doesn't really 'get' some of the decisions I make in general. F2 would be amazing, but I know F1 would be super upset as I have been friends with her longer and has probably assumed she would be a bridesmaid (although I wasn't for her).

    I am definitely having my OH sister and I'm also thinking of asking my cousins daughter who is similar age to me, we have become very close recently due to my aunt (her nan) sadly passing away, and I think asking her would keep us closer together.

    How do you make the decisions?? Then there is the flower girls and boys... we have 3 godchildren between us but then they all having siblings (one of the siblings we spend a LOT of time with too).

    Argh!

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    It's so hard! I ended up with no adult BMs because of these politics! Instead I had junior BM's and my sister signed the register.

    From the sounds of it if I were you I'd stick to OH's sister and possibly also your cousins daughter. Sticking with family provides an easy reason to anyone who may be upset. You could then involve your friends by asking them to do a reading or something, and/or have them plan your hen, go dress shopping and to wedding fayres with you, anything you think they may appreciate and enjoy being a part of.

    I had been between two friends and my sister for BM so my sister organised the hen for all the ladies invited to wedding, my friend who lives close by did my smaller hen for closest friends and my friend who lives in England did a reading.

    As for FGs, either limit it to godchildren (again that's an easy reason to give) or go the whole hog and have the lot (my idea of a nightmare lol) or have none. Whatever decision you make do it because you're happy with it. Whatever you do will probably upset someone so you may as well be happy with your own decision!

  3. #3
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    Thanks So difficult making these decisions! As you say, may as well be happy with what we decide... it's either us being unhappy (and we are paying!) or a guest....!

  4. #4
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    I found it very hard at the beginning! I am the same as you, I have friends in all different groups.
    I orginally asked my big cousin and my fiancé's sister and my best friend who I am closest to now.

    However then i started to feel really bad as I didn't ask my two best friends from school.
    It all came down to money for their dresses so I shopped about and found the exact dress i wanted for them in monsoon which was £200 cheaper than the bridal salon. So bought them and now I'm having all 5 of them!!

    Decided that my best friend I orginally asked will be my chief bridesmaid....at first this did cause some chat with my two friends from school as they've been my friend for longer but know they understand :-)

  5. #5
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    It's not much help I know, but it was fairly straight forward for me. Having an army of bridesmaids never appealed to me at all. I have several friends who would have been suitable, but I decided on my best friend (the one who's been there through it all!) and my sister. None of my other close friends had any issue with this. I think it would be worse if I had chosen several, they might wonder why I hadn't chosen them. If you started offering the post to every close friend you have, you could end up with an entourage!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Vic's Avatar
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    I would honestly suggest having as few as possible...I am having 3 but really wish I had thought about the cost and added stress of having multiple. I would love to have 1 so I could spoil them rather than 3 and having to constantly think about cutting costs..

  7. #7
    Super Senior Platinum Member MrsSneddonToBe's Avatar
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    I went with family as I couldn't pick some of my friends and not others. My sister was Chief BM and I had 2 cousins for BMs. As for flowergirls etc we didn't have any as there are quite a few kids and we couldn't have some without the rest. You don't need a big entourage. If it saves hassle I'd go with OH sister and your cousins daughter xx

  8. #8
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    I had 1 bridesmaid only, & I was so happy with that decision. I have 4 sisters-in-law & 4 nieces &1 nephew so wanted to avoid any problems. I had wanted to ask 1 of my closest friends too but she wasn't in a good place following a bereavement & I felt that the day might be difficult enough for her without me adding to her stress. As it was, the morning of the wedding was so relaxed - just Mum, my bridesmaid & myself. I can highly recommend it!

  9. #9
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    i know who i want but one of my friends who i was bridesmaid for joked that she might be maid of honour

    i dont even want to have her as bmaid what do i do

  10. #10
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    I'm in the same predicament!! I have asked my sister to be my MOH but for the others I am stuck! I defo want more than 1 though. I have my best friend from school, 2 other close friends (I was BM for one of their weddings, the other not married yet) and then I have a group of 4 besties and you couldn't ask one and not the other!! If I had them all there would be 8 which is just silly but I'm really stuck. I've recently been asked to be BM for one of the girls from the group of 4!


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  11. #11
    Senior Member Arranbride's Avatar
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    A friend of mine had her sister as MOH and 2 of her oldest friends as BM's. She then had 3 close friends as unofficial bridesmaids - they got to go along to dress fittings, where their own outfits as they would've as a day guest and organise the 'home hen' xx


    Donna x


  12. #12
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    It isn't easy to choose. My h2b has 2 sisters and 3 nephews. He isn't very close to sisters nor am I but I felt torn whether to do traditional thing and ask them to be bms. But after a discussion with my h2b he said do what feels right for me, as he wouldn't be offended if I didn't choose them. So I have asked my cousin, who I'm very close to and 1 of my friends who has been there. I didnt want to have too many either, as I don't think it's needed. I thought I cld involve his 3 nephews by being page boys, usher, 5, 6 & 12 but we have no flowed girl :-(

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  13. #13
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    I just made them both bms as I didn't want 1 to feel less important.

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  14. #14
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    I'm totally stuck with this too! I don't have anyyyy female relatives and my H2B doesn't have any sisters or close female cousins. I have friends but it's difficult to say who is "best". Most of them are in different groups too. So tricky to know!! If I choose just 1 (a girl I met on my year abroad who lives in London so I don't see that often but who is totally on the same wavelength as me and I love) are there other ways to have friends included some how? For the hen party for example, is it acceptable to ask a group of pals to help plan that? Or to help with preparations for the big day? So clueless!

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