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Thread: Knowing who you're friends are

  1. #1
    Junior Member Shem's Avatar
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    Default Knowing who you're friends are

    Sorry really need a place to let off some steam-

    basically we are inviting old friends with school to our wedding next year, we sent out our save the dates to our day guests and sent 1 to an old friend (L) who I see quite often, she's very close to another girl from school (T) who I used to be friends with but we don't really talk or see each other. We hadn't decided whether we wanted her for the evening as when we do meet up we do have a good laugh but she's one of those girls who can be a little two faced as she had been in the past hence why we don't see each other as often. Basically T is really peed off with me because she didn't get a save the date for the entire day and both of them had meet up, L had gone banging on to her how she had gotten her save the date and now it's caused all this drama. T has been sending me really mean messages about it all and when I spoke to L she basically said don't get me involved, when she's pretty much involved herself! She called me pathetic and that I should get over myself.

    I feel like I've made a drama about it. I feel like there's so much pressure to invite her now just to save stress but I feel like I'm forcing it, I'm so annoyed about it all. Can anyone help me?!

  2. #2
    Senior Member MrsRtoB's Avatar
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    Sounds like T should take a run and jump!
    she should be grateful to just be considered, especially if you dont see her that much.
    If she two faced, she probably just making a fuss because she wants to go to the wedding just to be nosey or to find something to bitch about. take it from me, there are people like that out there.
    It prob didn't help that your friend L was going on about her invite, maybe she could have showed a bit of decorum in that situation.....but giving that T is now sending you nasty messages etc. i wouldn't bother inviting her at all. there is no pressure for you to invite anyone, it is you and your H2B day and why have people there that might make you uncomfortable...i would stand your ground, weddings are supposed to be happy occasions but they seem to bring out the worst in some people....dont let it get to you. xxxxxxxx

  3. #3
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    At the very start of getting engaged one of my friends said to me 'throughout this process you'll get closer to people you werent before and you'll become less close to people you are now' And with 4 weeks to go i couldnt agree more.
    Ive had friends laugh when i speak about a wedding stress cause its 'not a big deal' and call me a bridezilla, iv had family not rsvp because their 'unsure'. My fiances cousins isnt coming because she is going to edinburgh that weekend with her boyfriend. It goes on.
    So do not take any of it too personally, everyones got it. Its a horrible feeling and i never thought id have any of it to deal with. So please dont let it dampen your excitement!! Your getting married, and when you get to the top of that aisle - you wont be giving her a second thought. x

  4. #4
    Junior Member Shem's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the advice girls, lifted my spirits a bit!

  5. #5
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    Maybe a little harsh but I would ditch them both! If she was such a good friend then why go behind your back to stir?

    youre better off without them, it's your big day and if they can't grow up and be civil and adult about it then that is their problem!

    chin up xxx

  6. #6
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    I'd say T has made it very easy for you.. No way would I invite her now she's proved the reason you didn't in the first place! do whatever your gut feeling tells you is right, that's never let me down xx

  7. #7
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    Exactly the same thing happened to me! The second friend didn't come at all in the end, tried to ruin my hen night and bitched and told lies about me before I friending me on facebook - good riddance! And tbh even though friend one was close to me and did a reading at the wedding she moved away and we barely see each other now either!

    I hate it how people are so self obsessed they make your wedding all about them. A couple of our friends said they would come to see us get married then go for a pub meal before joining us for the evening reception and it was so lovely of them. They understood we couldn't invite everyone but still made such an effort to be a big part of our day - they're good friends IMO!

  8. #8
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    T is out of order! Don't worry about it, don't let this nonsense tarnish YOUR special day.

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