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Thread: How do you deal with the inlaws (after the wedding)

  1. #1
    Super Senior Member miss2mrs14's Avatar
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    Angry How do you deal with the inlaws (after the wedding)

    The title pretty much says it all! The outlaws are doing my bloody head in (MIL is the worst but FIL is pretty bad too), I actually think they live on a different planet!
    mil is so annoyed her son is a married man and boy does she make it obvious (we had a pretty good relationship before the engagement)!
    Tonight she has pretty much called told me I'm ungreatful, in front of ALL of husbands family, as I haven't sent out thank you cards yet; 6weeks after the wedding and later than I hoped to have them out but I wanted nice ones and that took time to organise. I actually had theirs to give to her but I'm going to post it to be a complete bitch (and I didn't trust myself not to throw the card at her head after the snippy comments)
    There just always something she's picking at and it makes me so bloody mad, then husband and I have words
    anyone else have this problem?
    I don't want to stop visiting completely but I will if I can't nip this bitching in the bud!
    Husband is useless too, too laid back for his own good and just doesn't want to see there's an issue

  2. #2
    Super Senior Platinum Member SpecialSundae's Avatar
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    Hopefully it will get better.

    It was all out war between me and the in-laws before the wedding and yet now it's all hugs and smiles. They're not my best friends, but they aren't my worst enemies any more.

    (It took us nearly 6 months to get the last of our thank you letters out... we were appalling. It wasn't because we were ungrateful but I was both ill and over-stretched at work, and my husband wrote a grand total of two.)
    Fairy Gokmother

  3. #3
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    Oh that's awful. 6 weeks after is quick to have them sent anyway I think & also I wouldn't want them getting lost in the Xmas post. I read 3 months is the norm for people so your doing not bad lol. Maybe she's feeling threatened she's not the only woman in his like (properly official now!) Id try ignore her comments now & try not bite when she starts, she'll soon get fed up, fingers crossed!

  4. #4
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    I'm not sure how you deal with it, other than being as nice as you can and hoping it all settles down was there something in particular that happened that your mil has changed?
    And re thank you cards, I got married about 5/6 weeks ago too and haven't got anywhere near writing or sending thank you cards. I feel really guilty about it and it's not that I'm not grateful for our amazing pressies but between honeymoon and working full time and Christmas and buying a new house there simply isn't enough hours in the day. I've decided that I'm not going to get stressed about it- they'll get done soon-ish!!

    Hope things with you mil settle down xx

  5. #5
    Super Senior Member miss2mrs14's Avatar
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    Thanks folks, shes now got her thank you card but doesn't like it and thinks we've been very "egotistical" having a pic of us on the front and doesn't have it displayed in the house as its a bit naff.

    I can't win and I'm trying very hard not to say anything when she starts her nonsense but it goes against everything I am. X

  6. #6
    KiaraP
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    I think sometimes these people just need to be told "Well we are very happy with our thank you cards as have others so it must just be you".

    It can go either of two ways - you can be as nice a pie which will probably annoy her even more to try and show her it isn't bothering you. OR you can give her the reaction she wants and stand up to her but she could stop in future.

    We will be about 3 months for thank yous, purely as we wanted photo collage thank you cards and we just got our photos delivered before Xmas. I wouldn't let her get to you. She probably is jealous she is no longer getting any attention xx

  7. #7
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    I never spoke to my inlaws for 10months after my wedding, the wedding is never discussed - I still hate them but im nice for the sake of my hubby. but I only see them once a month now and im happy about that. they have never mentioned the wedding and have no pics of the day at all or on display (I was there last week and was asked what family photos they should put in their new multi-frame - the selection didn't have me in it or any from the wedding and the rest of the photos in the house are all ones without me - grin and bear it lol)

  8. #8
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    My h2b told his parents on Friday that we are getting married in 4 weeks time (my dad is terminal so is being quickened up) i was sorting something in the car at the time when i came in a few minutes later they never uttered a word to be that they even knew, i didn't realise h2b had told them till hesaid after we left. We were back in the house later to pick up the kids as they had been spending a few hours their and still they said nothing, middle daughter brought it up & they changed the subject! I'm really hurt tbh with them especially after their shocking behaviour at our youngests christening 2 weeks ago (complained it was running a little late as priest had been called to give last rites at hospital that morning) then as soon as it finished left without even saying anything or having a photo with her done as mil had work to go to that afternoon. They should be pleased or at least fake an interest in the fact their eldest son is getting married but they couldn't care less. If i had my way i wouldn't invite them bunch of weirdos.

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