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Thread: 26th of Feb 2014 - the Vu

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    Default 26th of Feb 2014 - the Vu

    so as many of you know my wedding planning/run up hasnt been the smoothest of tasks (lots of emotional support needed!)
    so the day before i was working till 1pm but had a conference call at 2:30pm and needed to take up stuff to the venue (my mr and mrs top table stuff, favours, wishing stones overnight bag etc - and yes i could have dropped it off and the vu would have set it out for me but im a bit of a control freak and it would take too long to explain lol) so my mum and me set up the room, then she took over as i had my conference call on mobile for an hour!
    after we set it up we headed home (starving at this point) and my cousins (cousin Jamie, his wife and flower girl daugther) were about to turn up as they were staying for a few days. we got home, met the family and has lunch/snack at 4pm, at 6pm manicurist turns up, and OH, best man, and my friends from london so busy house
    convo and nails till 10pm then people started to head away, i stayed up with cousins till 11:30pm then tidies up my parents house.

    so the day...

    woke up at 8am, showered, breakfast, mum dried my hair then curled it and pined the curls. this took us till about 10am. so i then done my make-up, done my mums hair and make-up, mum nd me done flower girls hair and cousins hair, gran, aunts and neightbours start to arrive - very busy morning!
    finally we all get ready, the cars arrive and we head off. i realise half way doen the street that my bouquet is in the house, so we ran back (we were early anyway) then we take a leisurly drive there. 5 mins from the vu dad reaslises he left his speech - we dont go bak tho as its too far now lol
    we arrived at the venue, about the open the door and guests arrive - not happy at all! one is dressed like going to a summer party not a wedding! and the invites said 12:30 for a 1pm ceremony! (aparently when they got in they said oh we thought it was at 2pm! so u turned up an hour early?! they r inlaws neighbours too and there r photos of them at 11:15 when oh was getting picked up)

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    Congratulations!! I followed some of your earlier posts and know it wasn't easy to get there, but hope you had an awesome day! X

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    thanks fran_says!

    so i think i was a very laid back bride, pretty relaxed on the day (if something was going to go wrong there is F -all i can do about it attitude)
    so i get into the building and see my sil/bridesmaid and flowergirl. sil is quite orange in the face and make-up isnt blended (her choice - see my tread in emotional support lol) i crouch down to my flower girl and talk to her. sil says 'u look nice', i reply thanks so do u. end of convo lol
    minster comes out and tells me whats going to happen then disapears. i ask my flowergirl to walk down the aisle (she is 3) but shes unsure but goes as her parents are up at the front, then sil goes then me. as i walk in all my half are waving at me so i wave back as i walk up the aisle. i get to my husband and he looks like he is going to cry!
    most of the ceromony is a blur - i purposfully didnt look much at hubby epecially when doing vows as i know i would cry! inlaws talked to each other during parts of the ceromony and had sour looks on their faces.
    our minister was so funny! my uncle videoed the ceremony and i will try to upload it and add a link

    so we go outside - its sunny with cloud but very windy and has been raining so people have to help me with dress and veil (dress had a train) for most photos! we get all our photos done - again see my post in emotional support to see the photos

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    Congratulations x x

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    Congratulations, I had read ur previous posts when you were having a difficult time.....cant wait to hear about the rest!! xxx

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    thanks 'soon to be mrs armour' and 'hells'!
    so...
    all photos were done and we had to sit in the bridal room to wait to be called - its takes quite a while for everyong to be seated. then the speeches, dad made up his so left out most of what he wanted to say, the best man speech was also very good. hubbys was short and sweet. and i made a quick one (forgot most of what i was going to say too!) and got everyone to sing happy birthday to my cousin (and there was a cake) i forgot to say most importantly that it was the anniversary of our first date (26.02.2012) and our engagement (26.02.2013). hubby forgot to say thanks to the mums and hand out the flowers, best man forgot to read out cards lol
    so the meal was good, radio silence from hubbys side of the table and no smiles from his family either lol
    my flower girl was brought up to the table between courses to show me her bib (our engagment photo with our wedding date and names on it - and congrats - forgot to say her shoes were white converse with our names on the side and our wedding date up the back )
    after the meal we tried to go talk to most tables - however we had to split up in order to do this as there were too many people to go round together.
    so lots of socializing then our cutting our cake and first dance - again close to tears! our photographer assistant came with a selection of photos from the day so people could buy them (i.e. photos of couples)
    then the rest of the night was again talking to everyone as there was 200 night guests!
    it was a gd day, lots of dancing and talking and we were very happy. people apart from hubbys family looked happy! the whole night is a bit of a blur! then we went up to the cabins at the vu and poured a bath (trust me we needed it for our feet and the sweat!)
    the next day we had breakfast delivered - totally zombies at this point - we had lost our voices almost from shouting over music etc and we were knackered! neither of us drink so we didnt have hangovers but it was close to a hangover!
    we had to get all the stuff that was left into my car (a fiat 500)
    so that included the top 4 balls of my cake, half the bottom base cake, baskets full of pebbles that people signed (instead of guest book) cards, flowers, presents, our mr and mrs sign, our outfits and over night bags the mums thank you flowers, you could barely see out the car! then we drove to the registry office to resgister the marriage. i was getting stared at as i had forgotten spare shoes and was wearing my ivory shoes around town!
    we then went to my parents to see my cousin, gran, family, flower girl etc. and spent 2 hours cutting the rest of the cake to give to people who didnt make the wedding! then we drove round to the inlaws via some relatives to drop off cake. sat with inlaws for an hour making small talk, then went to hubbys aunt, stuck there for an hour. which is when i found out about what his gran said to my mum.
    we then nipped home, gave cake to neighbours unloaded the car and went to my parents as our suitcases were there and there was no room earlier.

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    so short version, got cases, it was 9pm at this point. parents had recorded ceremony and speeches so let us watch on dvd they had made. then we went home and packed.
    i went to work on the friday as i had some important stuff to do. hubby went to see his mum then our parents picked us up the next day to take us to the airport (they put just married banners on out suitcases too!) then off on honeymoon to mauritius!
    honeymoon was good, relaxing warm, great food etc!

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    so the negatives of the day...
    ryans uncle shouted at photographer assistant (who was a friend of the family and got us a discounted rate with photographer) saying in front of everyone the photos were rubbish - this i know happened as he came up to me and told me - i told him to go sit down and F off lo
    ryans gran took a picture from the table without paying then shouted at the assistant for asking her to pay for it - fun!
    ryans uncle again shouted at bar staff for the tills crashing and money getting stuck in the till
    ryans uncles wife had arranged the wrong time for the taxi which included his mum (it came at 11:20 not 12:20 as planned) so his aunt was upset
    none of ryans family cracked a smile or said two words to me
    sil's friend gave me dirty looks all night and dressed inapropriatly - actually passed me by a inch and gave me dirty look - wtf!
    oh and somebody told my mums taxi that she and the family who were in the same mini bus had left (we called the company 30 mins after the ed to see where they were and they had to come back - this was my parents, gran flower girl, cousins etc)

    so thats all that i knew went on during the day
    now for stuff i found out happened on the day (but i didnt find out till a few days after)

    so before i arrived my mum went up to ryans mum, sis and gran and said to all of them how lovely etc they looked. the said thanks and didnt comment on my mum. then as the photos were getting taken the gran cam eup to my mum and said how pretty my SIL was, mum said yeah shes lovely, no shes f-ing gorgeous, she oculd have been a model! and my fav comment - she would have mad e much prettier bride - mil was next to her an djust smiled - my mum walked off at that point.
    mil insisted that more photos had to be taken of the family (as in emotional support - without me!)
    as i was in the bridal room waiting to come out before dinner my mum was passing the aunt and gran and said isnt the cake nice?! the which the gran replied that she thought it was a vile horrible mess. my mum left almost in tears and the aunt was too shocked and didnt knwo what to say. three table hheard some of this. mum was a bit of a mess and tried really hard not to cry - luckily our family was there to suppport her (she never told me any of this and didnt want to, to make sure it didnt ruin my day, but i found out from other people the day after and asked er everything)
    mil bitched about me for most of the day and so did sil, the gran etc
    my uncle (dads brother) sat with a massive smirk on his face after the speeches as the best man mentioned that ryan has had a tough life and had many issue and problems as most people in the room will know etc (little background my uncles daughter - my cousin - married a well know drug dealer a few years ago but he was too violent and was always in trouble with police so they got a divorce. and they r a posh family in a big house just bad taste in men lol) so uncle comes up to my dad (bearing in mind our favours are charity pins etc and standup to cancer keyrings) with the smirk and asks 'whats the gossip then? what trouble did he get into?' obviously thinking along the lines of police and similar to his ex son-in-law. (i wish i had seen his face at this point) my dad was confused and just told him - 'leukemia three times over his life y?' bye bye smirk! lol

    so there is more issue i.e. ever though i had a gift list i got 4 crockpots! and my aunt bought me a light that wasnt on the list and matches nothing in my house! ryans uncle bought us nothing - not even a card, sil bought us nothing, again not even a card. our neighbours (been in our house 3 months) gave us a card and 40 of next vouchers! and they werent even invited!
    my mum and dad gave my two cousins 100 plus a gif for each of their weddings and in return we got a 50 printer - thats from three families collectivly (my aunt and uncle, their daughter and husband, and their son and his wife and two kids) who all came on the day
    for 50 a head - never again mostly its rude. i know u dont ask people in order to get presents but its the polite thing to do

    i will not be building bridges with my inlaws for a very long time - there is no relationship there and i doubt there will be - as the saying goes there are a lot of people now off the xmas card list lol

    so rant/report over i think! it was a gd day, i married my best friend and i am sure we will stay happy together for a long time (as long as inlaws dont get involved! lol)

    thanks everyone for the support and for reading this stupidly long wedding report! sorry for all the spelling mistakes!
    cant wait to read all of yours!

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    Well with the exception of the drama / rudeness (which I know you were expecting), it sounds a lovely day! Hope you can just laugh about "situation inlaw" as it doesn't deserve to be given the time of day, nevermind negative space in your brain! Saw some of your pics on another post and you look lovely and so happy! Dress is gorge (is it allan hannah? I think I looked at a similar one). Keep the lovely memories there and ditch the rest. Congrats again! X

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    yes fran it is an allan hannah gown! good eye!
    nearly have all the thankyou cards out now - the picture is of us cutting the cake
    we are in the middle of doing up our kitchen so all our gifts arent out the boxes yet i really want to start using them! currently dont have a toaster as its in a box upstairs (my old one was donated to my parents who had theirs stolen)

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    Haha great minds! That was one of my "runner up" dresses, I really loved it! Aw well you sound really organised, I've ordered the Thank Yous but not got them yet, gifts also still in boxes, and intentions to decorate the kitchen first but not actually got round to starting!!xx

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    Have been meaning to comment on this for ages! Congratulations, you looked absolutely stunning! Soooo much nicer than your skinny SIL who chose a dress that didn't really flatter her figure and the colour wasn't great on her, no where near as nice as the dress you had chosen. And yes, she did look orange! What stood out for me on the photos was how gorgeous you look, I love your dress, and your mum's outfit is beautiful too, really stands out from the other family members reminds me of our wedding where my mum stood out in a gorgeous greeny colour compared to the black of my mil lol. My in laws also left early, and having just got our DVD back they didn't smile much during the day either so can at least empathise with you on that, although I really don't think I would have coped with all the crap you went through!

    And regarding presents, although obviously you don't get married for presents(!) I also found that people varied wildly! We also had a gift list, and I totally respect if people don't wish to buy from that, but a few 'close family members' bought us versions of things on our wedding list and had checked what we wanted to we ended up with two versions of the same things which is the whole point of a wedding list?! And an usher and some best friends also didn't even buy us a card which made me a bit annoyed that we spent hundreds on them when it was their turn, but never mind, I think some people are just a bit odd. I'd understand if they were struggling, but to not even buy a card is a bit poor IMO.

    Anyway, the important thing is that you're married, and I hope you both enjoy a lifetime of love, happiness and the less input from the in laws the better! Xx

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    Family are crazy sometimes eh?! Glad you still had a fab day regardless.

    I had similar things with presents. Obviously I don't care if no one got us a thing that's not why we got married, but human nature you can't help but notice. We particularly did not expect pressies from friends who travelled a long way it cost them a bloody fortune between wedding and stag/hen do. One of my bridesmaids didn't get a gift but she told me she is struggling and she made a massive effort in other ways that's totally cool I would actually have been mad if she bought something and couldn't afford it. But some relatives who we are close to bought us nothing which is odd. I'm paranoid cards went missing and don't know what to do about thankyous so am sending generic thankyous to everyone.

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    siobhan_flute - i know you dont get married for the presents - just feels like a bit of a snub when u get them something and they cant even be bothered to get u a card! i had friends come up from oxford and told them under no circumstances were they to get me a present as it ment so much to me that they actually travelled to see me yet people (and family) who lived 10mins away didnt even bother to get a card
    ive just been so stressed and had a bit of a **** time before the wedding that it was just one more thing lol

    tigger78 - yes family r crazy! i know what u mean if people were stuggling (like my gran who is poor i asked her to make us homemade snacks for our honeymoon as our gift but instead she had saved all year to give us 400! i cried and gave her a row for it! lol) but it was the people who spent lots on them selves. hubbys uncle said to his family he could afford a prezzie/card as getting time off outfits was such an expense... fair enough but the gran paid for the kilt hires for him and his son, and they had enough money to spend on constant drinks and ciggarettes all night then the following weekend go treat themselves to otherstuff instead.
    its just the expensive you have to pay for people to be there and they dont appreciate it - i wouldnt walk into somebodys house for a party without taking flowers etc!
    i sent thankyou cards only to people who got us something - we kept a list and updated it as soon as we got something lol really didnt want to give one to his gran tho
    oh and his sister still hasnt given us a present lol
    cant wait to read everyone else reports and see photos!
    really need to wean myself off the site tho..... lol

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    I was totally agreeing with you about the present thing Hydrogirl, I hope you didn't think otherwise! You've totally been through the mill with the way you've been treated by some people around your wedding, can empathise up to a point but my situation was nowhere near as bad as yours!! Think you did so well to keep your head up, rise above it all and be the belle of the ball and I've clearly not weaned off yet lol, but I was only on for a few months and now really interested to see how all the lovely brides-to-be get on so that's my excuse, I think you can adopt that too xxx

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    I didn't think that at all! Yeah I like ur excuse! I think it's just coz I'm mosey tho lol

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    You looked so stunning on your day, your dress was gorgeous and you didn't look like you let it affect you at all!! It sounds like all the comments that were made by mil, sil and the gran were just jealousy and only made them look bitchy and stupid on the day! And for the record.......the sil ain't much to look at! oooooooh I'm a bitch haha x x

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