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Thread: Usher issues

  1. #1
    Senior Member Mrsforresttobe's Avatar
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    Unhappy Usher issues

    h2b and I have just booked our venue for 2015 and we have an idea of who we want in the wedding party. my h2b has 2 brothers that he wants to be ushers, now my mum and dad are putting on the guilt trip as I only have one brother and they think he should be an usher along with one of my h2b brothers, I can see where they are coming from but how does my h2b pick between his 2 brothers? we could maybe have 3 ushers as well as the bestman, I am only having three bridesmaids and a flowergirl, so have I have bestman and three ushers it will look weird when walking up the aisle after the ceremony as one of them would need to walk themselves not to mention the first dance, feeling stressed and I have only started planning. sorry rant over

  2. #2
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    You can have 3 if you want 3. I've been to weddings where they have had more than 3. My wedding party is uneven. I have 3 bm 2 ushers and 2 best men. Xx

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    I think you should have whatever you feel comfortable with. Some people really care about the wedding party numbers matching up - I personally don't - mine actually do match up but I promise its by accident rather than design, lol. Other people won't really notice its just one of these things brides stress about

    H2B was usher at a wedding once and I danced with him for the first dance as there were more ushers than bridesmaids and I think it was totally fine. One of the ushers can take the flowergirls hand and walk her back up the aisle or even walking back up on his own I personally think is totally fine. xx

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    I think your H2B has to make the decision if he is happy to have your brother as an usher- if not he could always do a reading or be involved in some other way? Assuming everyone is happy with the situation I think you don't worry about the numbers.

    Those numbers actually work out okay as best man can come in with groom then there is an usher for each bm. At the first dance it is easy to get a close female friend/ family member to stand in to even up the numbers? When I was maid of honour at a wedding the best man disappeared at first dance so my fiance had to just stand in last minute and it looked fine. We will have to do this on our day as we have 4 bms and 3 bm/ushers.
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  5. #5
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    It doesn't have to be even! We are having best man, 1 usher and 4 bridesmaids. My thoughts for first dance are: best man & CBM, bridesmaid & usher (they are married) and the other 2 bridesmaids can dance with who they like (either their boyfriends or a family member) if they want to dance - I'm not going to make them.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Mrsforresttobe's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone might just get one of the ushers to dance with a family member, hadn't thought of that, lol. Think this is the first of a lot of things I am going to be stressing over lol

  7. #7
    Super Senior Platinum Member MrsSneddonToBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by debbie doo View Post
    I have 3 bm 2 ushers and 2 best men. Xx
    Me too!

    To be honest it's entirely up to you and h2b. If you want to include your brother then 3 ushers would be fine. However maybe there's another role you could find for him if you'd prefer 2 ushers. Why not ask him to do a reading? Or ask him to be in charge of the rings during the ceremony? x
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  8. #8
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    I think the thing to do is focus on your brothers feelings as opposed to matching up numbers and who dances with who. Sometimes I find myself going 'what was I thinking' after worrying about the most mundane things which won't matter in years to come and I'm sure it will continue to happen like that till the day is finished lol x

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    I'm not matching.. And I'm not having a MOH. My granma is my best friend in the world and will be signing my register. I have my 6 closest girls as BMs, OH has my cousin as his best man.. My other cousin as an usher (they're good friends) his own wee brother who is only 11 and then another Friend so only 4 in total. I have another male cousin I am very close to and I have asked him to walk my mum down the aisle and he'll be matching the ushers in his outfit.
    I didn't want OH to add ushers on to match my BMs just for the sake of it. The wedding party is uneven anyway, and they can all dance with whoever they like! X

  10. #10
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    Have who YOU BOTH want and who is special or close enough to be honoured to be included in your wedding party. best of luck. mine is not matched either. I picked who I wanted to be my bridesmaids inc my fiancÚ's sister. And my fiancÚ picked his best man and ushers not inc my family. But it's his friends and his brother. I am having my brothers children as flower girls and page boy. So evens it out.

  11. #11
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    My H2B is having 2 best men, childhood friends, 1 is doing register and other speech, we are having my cousin as Usher and I am having 1 cbm and 2 bms so we are matching buy that wasnt intentional! We are also having 2 fg's but no pb's. Have what suita u both xx

  12. #12
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    Don't worry about matching, We are having 3 bridesmaids and 2 best men and 6 ushers!!! Go with what makes you happy!

  13. #13
    Senior Member Mhairi_D's Avatar
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    We are having three BMs, three best men and one usher...... so 3-4, not matching but doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to be honest! having a mismatched wedding party is much better than having someone in it just to fill up numbers!

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