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Thread: Do you ever feel left out?

  1. #1
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default Do you ever feel left out?

    Two of my bridesmaids are sisters and their birthdays are a fortnight apart. I saw my CBM not long ago and said we needed to organise a night out for her birthday (this Sunday), which she agreed to but nothing has ever come of it. But...she's been for a birthday meal with 'the girls' tonight and I wasn't invited?! The other one had a birthday night out a fortnight ago (the day we went bridesmaid dress shopping!) and again, I wasn't invited.

    I feel like I'm forever making an effort to meet etc but they never bother to include me in anything they do.

    Sorry, just needed a little vent

  2. #2
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    I would be pretty peeved myself xxx

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Brizey's Avatar
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    That's awful babe. I'd be very upset. Especially if they are your bridesmaids surely that means you's are close?

    I wouldn't be able to sit on that. I would speak to them and ask why. You may find that they maybe haven't included you cause they know you have the wedding to pay for and didn't want to pressure you into spending money. Even so it still would've been nice to invite you and say no pressure etc.
    xxxx

  4. #4
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brizey View Post
    That's awful babe. I'd be very upset. Especially if they are your bridesmaids surely that means you's are close?

    I wouldn't be able to sit on that. I would speak to them and ask why. You may find that they maybe haven't included you cause they know you have the wedding to pay for and didn't want to pressure you into spending money. Even so it still would've been nice to invite you and say no pressure etc.
    xxxx
    They haven't really invited me on any nights out for about 2.5 years now (the last time I was out with them was the night h2b and I met). We meet for tea etc sometimes but that's it. Granted, I'm the only one with a house to pay for but even so, as you say, it would be nice to just be invited. It's the principal more than anything CBM put status on Facebook earlier saying she was looking forward to her birthday meal with her girls so I've commented asking where they went...she won't reply though.

    Starting to wish I'd just asked sil2b to be bridesmaid on her own

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    That must be so upsetting for you
    I think you should speak to one or all of them and ask why they don't invite you to things. Just come straight out with the direct question, and see what they say.
    I think it's really mean and tbh just don't understand why some girls act like this...
    I've been going through something similar with a girl for the past year and a half and it finally all came to a head last week. We met up and talked everything through and the result is that we've agreed to wipe the slate clean and make an effort with each other. I'm still a little annoyed as I don't think she really took responsibility for her actions, but I've chosen to try with the friendship one last time, so I'm trying to leave it in the past and forget about it.
    Hope you can get some answers MrsForchtobe. I found the situation of being left out really knocked my self confidence, so my advice would be to address it asap xx

  6. #6
    Senior Member coly87's Avatar
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    That's terrible especially as you have picked them to be part of your special day. I agree with everyone else speak to them as its going to eat you up inside as that's what you don't want happening while planning xx

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Brizey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsForchtobe View Post
    They haven't really invited me on any nights out for about 2.5 years now (the last time I was out with them was the night h2b and I met). We meet for tea etc sometimes but that's it. Granted, I'm the only one with a house to pay for but even so, as you say, it would be nice to just be invited. It's the principal more than anything CBM put status on Facebook earlier saying she was looking forward to her birthday meal with her girls so I've commented asking where they went...she won't reply though.

    Starting to wish I'd just asked sil2b to be bridesmaid on her own
    They don't sound like very good friends and obviously aren't really bothered about your feelings love.

    I'm having a similar feeling in that someone who is my bridesmaid I no longer want to be. I think you are entitled to un-ask people to be bridesmaids. If not you may regret it. xxxx

  8. #8
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brizey View Post
    They don't sound like very good friends and obviously aren't really bothered about your feelings love.

    I'm having a similar feeling in that someone who is my bridesmaid I no longer want to be. I think you are entitled to un-ask people to be bridesmaids. If not you may regret it. xxxx
    It's actually like asking family - my CBM has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, we went through playschool, primary and high school together. I grew up with them - I was at their house daily, sometimes staying for full weekends and we spent every day of the school holidays at each other's houses. So I'm starting to feel like it was like asking my sisters.

    My CBM and I have a friendship a bit like where you can go ages without speaking but just pick up where you left off the last time. We do live quite different lives though - she is out ALL the time (usually at least 2 nights a week), whereas I very rarely go out. The last time I was drunk was SIL2B's wedding in April and before that the last time I was out was my work's xmas party night. Really, I have no inclination to go out, I would rather spend my money on things I want than get drunk and feel crap on a sunday! She doesn't have a boyfriend and still lives at home so no house to pay for etc.

    I'm going to leave it just now and see what they are like at my birthday. I wouldn't be fussed about not being invited as I wouldn't have gone anyway, I think it's just the fact it was for their birthdays

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    Senior Member Mhairi_D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsForchtobe View Post
    I'm going to leave it just now and see what they are like at my birthday. I wouldn't be fussed about not being invited as I wouldn't have gone anyway, I think it's just the fact it was for their birthdays
    Please don't take this the wrong way, but the bit where you said you wouldn't have gone anyway confused me - I thought you wanted to be invited? you can't blame others for leaving you out if you're not prepared to actually go to anything. Sorry if I've said the wrong thing x

  10. #10
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mhairi_D View Post
    Please don't take this the wrong way, but the bit where you said you wouldn't have gone anyway confused me - I thought you wanted to be invited? you can't blame others for leaving you out if you're not prepared to actually go to anything. Sorry if I've said the wrong thing x
    I don't generally go out, but always make the effort for birthdays. So..I wouldn't have been fussed if it was just a random night out. I even suggested going out for her birthday but still wasn't invited.

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