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Thread: Totally Fed Up...why can't people just be happy?

  1. #1
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    Default Totally Fed Up...why can't people just be happy?

    Totally fed up with my hen do! My bridesmaids are planning this for me and I haven't to know any activities that are happening when there. This really isn't a problem and I am quite looking forward to the surprise.

    Anyway initial email of plans has been sent and the moaning has began! I don't want to this/I don't want to do that!! Grrr!!!

    We were initially looking into hotels but then i thought staying in apratments would be good as we would all be more together and could have a good laugh and it would be a good way of people getting to know each other. I thought that it would be good to all stay in on the first night, have drinks and games and whatever else they are planning for me then head out for the big day/night on the second. Well a couple people are now moaning saying they don't want to stay in apartments ans dont want to stay in and would rather be out both nights and if that's what's happening then they will just meet us on the Saturday and do their own thing on the Friday night!

    I just feel like I am stuck in the middle of it all as i have now become the go between. I am the kind of person that likes to try and keep everyone happy and struggle to have the attitude of if they don't like it then tough.

    Has really just taken all the fun out of it for me. And to be honest I just want my hen wkend to disappear and not exist as it would be easier than dealing with all the crap that I am sure is to come

    Just wish people would go along with the flow and do whatever is being is being planned.

    Sorry for having a moan x

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    Hey MrsBurnieTB! So sorry to read your thread, I really feel for you. It's true when people say that organising the hen-do is the most stressful part of the whole wedding.

    I would have thought that you're 'friends' would have realised that the hen-do is about you & what you want to do. It's suppose to mark your last nights as a single girl so I would have thought that everyone should be signing up to what you want to do.

    I think it is impossible to please everyone. You just have to go with what you want & it is up to others if they join you or not. I think you have some great rationale for choosing to do what you want to do so just be strong & stick to your guns.

    Maybe you're bridesmaids can send out an email to remind others that this is your weekend & what you want to do?

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    Platinum Member Brizey's Avatar
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    Didn't want to read and run.

    These sorts of things always happen when you try to arrange a group outing for anything. Not just hen parties.

    I would have your bridesmaids remind everyone that the night is about you and your happiness and not anyone else. And then if the moaning continues, I'd go for a don't like it don't come approach.

    Try not let it get you down xxxx

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    I feel for you huni and like the others say its not just a hen do but any time a group thing is organised someone is going to moan!

    I think you need to remind them that it is your hen do and you would like them to be involved on the Friday night girly night in.This is the one time that you shouldnt need to compromise for someone and do exactly what you want to do.

    M xxx

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    Some pals they are. I have been to many many hen do's as had 8 weddings last year and I would never ever think to moan about what the choice of hen do was and I went to all of them.

    That's disrespectful and horrible behaviour. If they don't like it they could at least make an excuse of why they can't come even though I think that's crap too!

    Leave them be and focus on the ones that come for u and wanna be there to make ur weekend special. Don't have the downers on ur hen because of some spoilt little brats! U have a ball when it comes and chin up.

    Take care. X

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    Quote Originally Posted by RuthFerguson2bee View Post
    Some pals they are. I have been to many many hen do's as had 8 weddings last year and I would never ever think to moan about what the choice of hen do was and I went to all of them.

    That's disrespectful and horrible behaviour. If they don't like it they could at least make an excuse of why they can't come even though I think that's crap too!

    Leave them be and focus on the ones that come for u and wanna be there to make ur weekend special. Don't have the downers on ur hen because of some spoilt little brats! U have a ball when it comes and chin up.

    Take care. X

    Here here ruthferguson2bee!!!

    Totally agree! End of the day ppl that matter the most will b there & no moaning will b involved!

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    Super Senior Member Laurabelle84's Avatar
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    Totally sympathise with you......it's not happened to me yet but my hen has the potential for this to happen too. 1 of my hens, who used to be my best friend but turned really weird & started kinda ignoring me (but said she's not, she so is btw) is already making excuses abut not being able to come so says not to count her in. But she's saying to my other friends she'll be really annoyed if she doesn't get space in the apartment!!

    As the other girls have said, your true friends & family will do whatever is being organised for you & have a great time. At the end of the day, those who are party poopers are the ones who will miss out xx

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    Thank you Amy Gallagher.

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    Sorry to hear you've got stuck in the middle of your hen planning. I am BM to one of my BMs in a few weeks time, and I organised her hen do which was last month, and I can honestly say that planning a hen do is on par if not more stressful than planning a wedding! When I was organising her hen day/do, any moans I got I referred them back to the point of the day - it's a day for the bride to be & what she enjoys before she gets hitched, with the people she wanted to enjoy it with!

    Everyone was fine with that, except one (there's always one....), who then complained to the hen, which totally got my back up because she had nothing to do with the planning at all (and I'm more than happy to talk to someone who has an issue with something in a constructive way), and I felt really bad that she had ended up in the middle - much like yourself. Our hen do's are something for us to enjoy (and be as stress free as possible), and if you have others planning your hen do (BM's, or some have close friends organising theirs) then I'm all for leaving them to it, because we've got enough on our plates organising our perfect weddings. It really annoys me when people act like its just another night out - it's not, it's a hen do! Rant over

    Hope you managed to get things sorted, and have a fab hen weekend! x

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    Thanks girls, know you are all totally right and all that is important is what I want to do!

    What's making it harder is its a close family member.

    Feel like I just want to keep the peace but if there are further comments then there will become a point when enough is enough...

    Really appreciate all of your support, has made me feel a little better about it all! Xx

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