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Thread: Problems

  1. #1
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    Angry Problems

    Sorry for the long post in advance. I had asked one of my best friends to be my maid of honour last year, all she had to say was "I didn't expect anything less", which kinda pissed me off but brushed it off at the time. Since then I barely hear from her and it's always me texting her and she takes forever to reply, never asks me about wedding stuff, and when we do go out and do wedding stuff (which has only been about 4 times in over 1 year with her) she sits with her face tripping her and does not put any input in. When ever i say anything about it she always says she is too busy and doesn't always have time to reply (which I know is lies as she spends the majority of her time posting on twitter). I text her last Saturday to say had I done something to upset her or was there anything on her mind, she replied pretty much saying she know's she has let me down recently and will make it up for, then didnt hear back from her all week even after texting her nearly every night trying to arrange to meet up as haven't seen her since April. So on Friday I sent her a text pretty much saying even though you said you would make the effort you haven't and I need a maid of honour that is going to be there for me when I need her, even to take my mind of the wedding and chat rubbish. She replied saying she hoped I hadn't made my mind up and was I punishing her. That is not true as I really need a friend not just a maid of honour. Also said I still wanted her as a bridesmaid as she means a lot to me, but she said she can't stand there and watch someone else do her role (if she had been there for me it would be her doing her role and not my other close friend). Also makes me think does she want to be at the wedding AT ALL!!
    I am 100% convinced I have made the right decision and just looking for a rant and to see if anyone else has problems with friends like this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member PBHB2B's Avatar
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    Oh man !! Weddings do seem to bring the badness out in some people!! I have been lucky that my little sister has been fab and really involved herself with the wedding. However my older Sister and my Best Friend haven't had as much input. Occasionally this annoys me but I understand too that they have busy lives and just because I am obsessed with the planning it's obviously not their number one priority.

    I think it just depends on different personalities too. I haven't really given people a title or a role they are just all equal (however I have put my little Sis as our witness because she's been the best lol ) x

  3. #3
    Super Senior Member AnotherMrsBrown's Avatar
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    Im sorry to hear that - a lot of people seem to have problems with the bridesmaids which is where you dont expect to be like that. I have my sister as my Maid Of Honour and she has been great but she got married two years so knows all about planning a wedding. My bridesmaid hasnt shown that much interest in the wedding and I got to a stage I felt it was me always telling her about it as she didnt really asked which at a point really got to me. Im three weeks away now and only now Im getting interest from her.

    Could you speak to her again on the phone (as you said hard to meet up) and tell her how you feel and what you are expecting from her. I would call rather than text or email as that sometimes can be read incorrectly. x
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  4. #4
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    This sounds annoying, and you definatley need someone there to give your chat too... My MOH is my little sister and she really is the best, I basically chew her ear off about weddings everyday and apart from telling me I'm obsessed lol she really is good! My other BM haven't really been involved my SIL 2b has been good at discussing the hen ideas and listens when i need a gab but my best friend who is my other BM hasn't seemed interested at all.. So much that she hasn't asked about my wedding dress which she knows I have chosen.. It has annoyed me that she is so uninterested as I was her MOH last year and loved the wedding planning with her... X

  5. #5
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    Maybe you should speak to her in person or at least on the phone about your concerns. Avoid doing it via text message, it doesn't really allow you the opportunity to talk properly. You said that she admitted she needed to make more of an effort and you felt that she didn't act on this, to be fair it was only over the space of a week - has she had things going on throughout the week that perhaps you weren't aware about? Again, speak to her properly, there might be things/problems going on in her life at the moment too. Sometimes I think we get too wrapped up in our weddings that we forget that, I know I did. I think it would be better for you to get the full picture before you make a decision. And if it does turn out that she just simply isn't making an effort then you can make an informed decision as to whether you want her as MOH.

  6. #6
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    Do you think your friend is jealous? Sounds like she is dragging her feet. If this is how she has always behaved then I wouldn't waste too much time trying to understand it but if this is unusual behaviour then I would be trying to ask 'why?'.

  7. #7
    Super Senior Member Laurabelle84's Avatar
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    It must be the season for bridesmaids problems, seems to be a hot topic at the moment & I'm having similar problems. My younger cousin is a bridesmaid & hasn't shown 1 bit of interest in the wedding, doesn't show up when we arrange to do things & then takes a week to contact & apologise. She's on her last warning if that's the right way to put it but she promises she won't let me down again......time will tell I suppose!

    I think if you feel it's the right thing to do then it is, you need someone you can rely on & like you said, you need a friend to be there. Maybe she'll properly realise now how serious you are that she needs to be there for you & buck up her ideas xx

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