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Thread: I could scream!!!

  1. #1
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    So I have 4 bridesmaids - one still at school, one a policewoman and two that work on the nurse bank. Policewoman only gets 1 or 2 weekends in 5 off and works to a shift pattern so I thought since the other two can just say which days they can't work it would be easiest to work round policewoman's weekends off to go dress shopping. Planned it for this Saturday back in June as it is policewoman's first weekend off since then.


    Now one of the nurses text me this morning saying she's been put down to work on Saturday!! She's working today so going to try to get it off! How can they have put her down if she told them she couldn't work?? Unless she just hoped she wouldn't get asked and never bothered to tell them!


    I'm unbelievably peed off - I thought my bridesmaids would be easy but it seems not!


    I'm still going on Saturday and she will just have to wear what the others pick!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Rhona30's Avatar
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    I think this stuff happens a lot. Some bridesmaids just don't get it, they don't understand how excited we as brides get about these things. If it happens again just order them and get her to go in with her measurements.

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    Yeah, I think I've resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't be able to get all 4 of my BM's out shopping together. One's a doctor (on shifts) with 2 kids, one lives in Edinburgh (& busy with her planning her own wedding/honeymoon), and the other 2 are a lot easier to organise.

    I'm BM to one of my BM's this year, and her BMs live in Glasgow (me), Edin, and London - so she just ordered 3 different dresses (in our different sizes) from Debenhams, we all organised to be at hers for a trying the dresses on session, took a general consensus of which dress we all preferred and went with that, she then returned all the other dresses. I think this was a great idea as it didn't give us all room to pick & choose from a million different dresses, and because she knows us & our taste, she didn't pick any dresses we would've been horrified at. xx

  4. #4
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    Well I wanted them all together so they could pick a dress they all like but if she's not going to be there then the plans will go ahead and she just won't have a choice in the matter!

    She's been going on about how excited and honoured she feels to be asked but yet can't even manage to get one day off that was organised nearly 2 months in advance? Grrr.

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    I am dealing with a police woman, student and 1 living in London - the logistics have been murder! Ended up choosing and ordering with 2 of them there and returning with 3rd to get measured at a later date! Now the fun has started with organising alterations.....unfortunately again it looks like 2 trips but needs must! Good Luck on Saturday X

  6. #6
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    The measurements will be many trips I expect. Policewoman lives near to shop so she can go herself if need be. If any of others can't make it when I go then they can sort it out themselves. I'm not chasing them and sorting things for them - surely they can get themselves to a shop to be measured on their own!

  7. #7
    Senior Platinum Member Harajuku80's Avatar
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    I totally understand where you are coming from because with 4 BMs (one works in Dundee, one stays in Edinburgh and two have kids) I'm in the same kind of situation. It's really hard to get everyone together and do it the way we want it to be because life gets in the way! However, I can't help feeling a wee bit sorry for the BMs! They have lives too and it's hard to believe that they aren't as excited as us about our wedding days but they won't be..how could they be?! I'm sure all of your BMs are very honoured and happy to be such a special part of your day but the reality is that not everyone can be where you need them when you need them there and it's hard for us! It just feels a bit harsh to me to say 'if they can't go when I go they can sort it out themselves' I'm sure they would prefer you were there to see everything was right. I hope you manage to get something sorted! x
    Friday 1st May 2015

  8. #8
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    I don't think they need me there to get measured...? Sil2b wasn't there when I got measured because I was working the day she went so I went on my own. It takes literally 2 minutes for them to measure you.

    Yes, they do have their own lives but when you plan a day months in advance and they all say it is fine, then still fine less than a week before, I don't expect them to then say they're working just 3 days before.

  9. #9
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    I have a friend who is a nurse and this happens to her all the time. Despite requesting the time off well in advance, she is often expected to work if someone is sick or on holiday. It must be difficult to refuse when this would mean a ward would be short staffed and patients who are really ill would not get the care and attention they need. Nursing isn't just a job it's a vocation. While it might be disappointing that your bridesmaid cannot manage, the other three will be in the majority so her absence will not stop you from choosing the dresses if they find something they like. Please read Collette's post from earlier today and this might help you get things into perspective.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    She's an auxiliary, not a staff nurse.

    Panic over, they've covered it

  11. #11
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    I know all too well about things being in perspective, thank you.

  12. #12
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    I know how you feel. I basically had to find a dog sitter for my bridesmaid so she could come bridesmaid dress shopping.. When you start out on wedding planning you never think it is going to be so stressful!

  13. #13
    Platinum Member MrsForchtobe's Avatar
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    Default I could scream!!!

    A dog sitter....lol that's a little extreme. Would she just not leave it??

    I know but hey ho, they won't understand until they're planning their own wedding!

  14. #14
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    Glad u got it sorted it can be stressful getting everyone together x

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