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Thread: Dealing with the out-laws

  1. #1
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    Default Dealing with the out-laws

    This may be a silly question (but I am needing some reassurance here), is anyone else having issues with their in-laws????

    The most recent example is related to the guest list. My family is huge (thanks to an Irish catholic background) but his parents both fell out with their families so they don't have any relatives invited to our wedding. I thought I suggested a nice thing by saying that they could invite 5 friends to our wedding for the whole day (we're only having 56 at the wedding), the one condition is that I had to have met them as this is the rule we have applied to our whole wedding guest list. This turned in to a huge heated debate as they claim they have too many friends that they couldn't invite some and not others

    I now feel that our lovely gesture has been thrown back in our faces. I just needed to hear that it is not just me having these experiences with future relatives. I'm hoping that this is not an indication of things to be in my new married life

  2. #2
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    Yes yes yes!

    I had pretty much the same situation lol. My family is a lot bigger than his and we invited a few family friends from his side to balance it up. We asked his mum and dad if there were *a few* extra (on top of the ones we had put on already) they would like to add and got presented with 7 extra couples. When we said no that's too many we offered to invite the 2 couples they are closest to and that H2B knows they said no it's all or none we don't want to offend anyone.

    Fast forward 9 months, invitations out, table plan done.....his mum turns round and says actually we do want those 2 couples invited after all! I said ok evening as our day list is now full and they had the chance months ago to invite them but oh no it HAD to be all day!

    We ended up giving in (to the 2 couples all day, not all 7 couples!) as H2B was getting serious emitional blackmail from his mum but I don't mind saying I had steam coming out of my ears as I posted the invites lol 😡

    Best advice I can give is set a limit numbers wise, grit your teeth and smile and let him deal with it, I've started taking the attitude:
    your parents = your problem 😉 my own family create enough dramas to keep me busy!

    Lxx

    PS your family = your problem applies to his crazy sister as well!
    Last edited by LolaGtobe; 03-08-2013 at 03:45 PM.

  3. #3
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    Yeh, I'm not alone!!!!! Sorry to hear that you're going through a similar thing though LolaGtobe. I feel a little masochistic in saying that I'm glad others are experiencing the same thing!!

    My h2b spoke to his mum today & they are now enquiring about the evening guest list, & trying to figure out if they can invite anyone then. I have told him, to tell them, to back off! It is our wedding, our guest list, & this bride will bite if pushed ;-)

  4. #4
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    I'm with you on this one too! My sister has had a lot of grief from her in-laws over the last fourteen years, and since we got engaged the similarities between the families has been staggering, we're just hoping it's not history repeating itself! I think we're also going with the approach of we each deal with our own families to try to avoid as much potential drama/confrontation as possible. It's great having this forum to know that you're not alone xx

  5. #5
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    It is such a huge comfort, siobhan_flute! If it wasn't for this forum I think I was actually losing the plot at times. It's a great reality grounder!! Cx

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