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Thread: devestated

  1. #1
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    Default devestated

    sorry for the moan but just want to post this in the hope i feel better for getting it out there... we never had a honeymoon and decided instead to have a fab first anniversary so we have put a bit aside every month and booked ourselves into a 5* luxury hotel complete with a full spa day, champagne, the works. i have been so excited about this for months.
    so we arrived last night, checked in, had a glass of wine and then wandered to the spa for an evening swim. while we were there i asked at the desk what time our first treatment would be. the receptionist looked at the bookings and then turned to me in what can only be described as horror and said ' you cant have any of these treatments, you are pregnant and they are not suitable for you' the thing is, im not pregnant. im a size 12-14 and quite conscious of it.
    i am devestated that after spending so much money to come here to feel pampered and good about myself i now feel fat and hideous and dont even want my husband to touch me. i spent my first night in tears and am now dreading the spa. if my husband wasnt looking forward to this so much i woukd have got my money back and just gone home.
    i complained last night but it hasnt helped :-( i feel miserable

  2. #2
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    That is horrendous! I feel similar about my weight. I am a similar size to you, and although that is not massive I don't feel great about it and am struggling to lose weight. It is hard to bounce back after something like that. I guess you could try to enjoy the other aspects as best as you can and then put in a complaint after. Sorry I am not full of ideas, I just wanted to sympathise.

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    Oh my word!! That is absolutely disgusting treatment from the spa receptionist!! What did management say when you complained?

    I have to admit, I often have days where I feel frumpy and horrid but I know no matter how awful I feel about myself, my fiance still wants to be seen in public with me, still compliments me on how I look, gives me cuddles and initiates 'adult activity' so I'm obviously not the hideous beast I think I am. I guarantee your husband feels the same way about you!

    You and your husband have worked so hard to have your glamorous weekend away, and it will be hard but try putting what that silly shallow woman said out of your head and don't let it ruin the experience for you.

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    That's awful :-( I'm the same with my stomach and on honeymoon only managed 2 days in a bikini before I ended up wearing a full swimsuit as I felt people were staring. That's such a horrible assumption to make, I'll bet she was a skinny wee rake as well, they're always the worst! Grrr x

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    Make a complaint that's horrendous x

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    You poor girl,how awful! What an insensitive and rude person she is and the issue lies with her not with you! Don't let her spoil your weekend away (which sounds amazing btw!) and get yourself down to that spa ASAP! Your husband loves you as you are and she should keep quiet if she has nothing nice to say, there are plenty other ways she could have confirmed her suspicions without being unbelievably unprofessional! Try and take heart from this, I am one of those annoying skinny types but I still have issues with my stomach and believe me I can rival my friend who is currently 16 weeks pregnant in the stomach department at the moment! It just so happens that's where a lot of us put on weight! I could on on all day about her unprofessional attitude and perhaps if you are feeling a bit better you can complain again, think they owe you at least a bottle of champagne! Try to enjoy your weekend! Xx

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    [QUOTE=highlandhoneybee;172517]Make a complaint that's horrendous x[/QUOTE

    thanks ladies. its nice to know im not just being oversensitive.
    i complained last night and the manager told me she completely sympathised as something similar had once happened to her. its one of those incidents that cant really be fixed though. she apologised profusely and we are getting free wine with dinner tonight but at the end of the day what has been said cannot be unsaid. x

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    [QUOTE=mrsW2bee;172521]
    Quote Originally Posted by highlandhoneybee View Post
    Make a complaint that's horrendous x[/QUOTE

    thanks ladies. its nice to know im not just being oversensitive.
    i complained last night and the manager told me she completely sympathised as something similar had once happened to her. its one of those incidents that cant really be fixed though. she apologised profusely and we are getting free wine with dinner tonight but at the end of the day what has been said cannot be unsaid. x
    Please don't let that stupid rude girl spoil your fabulous weekend. I'm a size 14 and have been for years and even when I low weight I'm still a 12.

    Your husband loves you and you will have a fab weekend especially the free wine x

  9. #9
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    Dont let her ruin your weekend! Cant help much more think you have a right to be upset but you are spending the money and should enjoy it as much as you can

    X
    When love feels like magic, you call it destiny.
    When destiny has a sense of humour you call it Serendipity

  10. #10
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    What an absolute cow! You NEVER assume anyone is pregnant! Seriously don't let this ruin your weekend, I have a belly too so I fell your pain but as the girls have said your hubby loves you just as you are! I would definitely complain about the girl, that is so out of order! Have a fab weekend and forget all about that silly moo! Xxx

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    I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this kind of thing! And I'd have been as upset as you, I think most of us would. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, chin up! But when you get home I'd write an official complaint. My best friend is a spa manager at one of the top hotel/spas in the country and I know for a fact if any of her girls spoke to a guest like that there would be serious consequences.
    A size 12/14 is pretty small and I bet you look great, and I guarantee you're hubby thinks so to! X

  12. #12
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    That's shocking, I'm so sorry, I would me mortified too so I don't think you are being over sensitive. I can understand why you would just want to run for the hills but don't let it spoil your time with your husband. It's wrong for complete strangers to stare and make judgements when we are in our bikinis, feeling vulnerable already as we are essentially walking round nearly naked! Last time I was sunbathing on holiday I had to cover up because other women were staring in horror at my flared ribs when I was lying down, my ribs stick out a lot which makes me look really skeletal but I'm not at all (I have 40 inch hips) my ribcage has just developed differently. The only opinion that matters is our husbands! x

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    What a spiteful witch of a receptionist!


    Everyone here is right- its what your hubby thinks that matters. I can imagine this is a huge confidence knock but don't let that spoil your weekend.....Definitely complain to management!!!

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    You poor thing! Situations like this is what the malky was invented for!
    Enjoy your dinner and make sure you drink the bar dry tonight if its free wine they are giving you!
    Easier said than done to forget but wine and some special attention form your hubby should sort that out! X

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    Oh god honey I feel your pain. I had a HUGE ovarian cyst removed last year and in the month before my surgery went to a couple of wedding fairs. EVERYONE assumed I was pregnant (and to be fair i did look very pregnant) and was asking when I was due but I then had to explain that no I wasnt and explain the situation to a bunch of random strangers. In the end I gave up and just said next month and diverted all baby related questions. Completley humiliating.

    Thing is I find it very hard to believe that at a size 12-14 you would look so pregnant she could justifiably say that in such a way and agree that once you're home you should be persuing this further. And pregnant or not, if she was in any doubt all she had to do was say "and theres no chance your pregnant" and say they ask every woman, like they do when you get an xray so at least it wouldnt seem so blooming rude.

    I guarantee you look fabulous hun, dont let the insignificant people (and make no mistake this woman is insignificant) bring you down

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    Oh my goodness how extremely RUDE of that hideous woman!!!!! How dare she make that assumption!!!! In a society where size is rapidly growing it is NEVER ok to ask any woman that! And at a 12-14 you are on the small side of what is now considered to be the 'average' size of a woman! As hard is I know it will be, dont let this hateful little woman spoil what should be a fantastic holiday for you and your husband. Some people clearly don't understand that it takes seconds to think about what you are saying before you say it. If I were you, I would be raising a complaint about that receptionist and going above the managers head by contacting the director or whoever. This kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable from a person in a public service role. As the first point of contact for the customer she should be welcoming and inviting, not insulting and upsetting.

    I really hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your time away with your husband. You've saved long and hard for this and you enjoy every moment!
    xx

  17. #17
    Senior Member Cara's Avatar
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    That is horrible. Although is it possible that she was just saying IF you were pregnant then they wouldn't be suitable, ie. asking you if you were pregnant? Not sure where the hotel is but if there ia a language barrier then maybe that got in the way. Or is it possible that a mix up has been made during booking and it is on your file as being pregnant (some women inform hotels of this so they know to ensure their food is well cooked etc.)

    Not jumping to the woman's defence, just thinking there's no point in getting yourself upset if she didn't actually think you were pregnant x x

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cara View Post
    That is horrible. Although is it possible that she was just saying IF you were pregnant then they wouldn't be suitable, ie. asking you if you were pregnant? Not sure where the hotel is but if there ia a language barrier then maybe that got in the way. Or is it possible that a mix up has been made during booking and it is on your file as being pregnant (some women inform hotels of this so they know to ensure their food is well cooked etc.)

    Not jumping to the woman's defence, just thinking there's no point in getting yourself upset if she didn't actually think you were pregnant x x
    hey, just wanted to say thanks for the support yesterday it really made me feel a lot better. i decided to take a deep breath and go enjoy the spa. when we got there, the spa manager pulled me aside and apologised profusely for the behaviour of the receptionist. we then enjoyed a lovely 2 hour treatment and were also treated to a complimentary anniversary champagne dinner. all in all, my weekend got turned around and although im still upset by what was said, im glad i didnt run crying from the hotel on friday night.

    also thanks cara, i appreciate what you were trying to say but her judgement was most definately based on my appearance not on anything on the files. i would hope in the instance of that kind of mistake, a 5* spa would be able to employ a bit of tact anyway, especially in a packed reception.
    xx

  19. #19
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    how awful for you, think i would have slapped her! most girls have a thing about there weight whether there a size 8 or 22 but what is important that you are happy with how you look and your husband clearly is, please dont let this awful situation get you down x

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    Don't listen to that cow. Someone's said that to me too (I'm also a size 14) and my reaction was exactly the same. No water what anyone says to you you'll still feet fat and horrendous but you're not!!! Chin up!! Get back in that spa and have an AMAZING time. You're married and should deserve a fantastic time.

    Don't let her ruin it

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