Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: ahhhh help bridesmaid stress

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dundee
    Posts
    16

    Default ahhhh help bridesmaid stress

    I am actually strating to dread my wedding due to one of my bridemaids. she is m H2B brothers girlfriend but also has been my friend for many years. She has made very little effort with my henny and if I ask her to get involved with any of the wedding plans she always cancels at last minute.
    I feel like I dont want her to be my bridemaid anymore esp as it cost alot of money and I dont want to look back at my photos in years to come and regret having her. In the past 6 months I have barely seen her and she makes no effort to meet up (surely friends should not be like this)
    I Really dont know what to do, And dont think i can say anything face to face.
    Recently she said to me over a few drinks that she disnt think we would be friends anymore if our partners were not brothers and when i approached her about this the next day she just brushed it off.
    Please help me!!!

  2. #2
    Super Senior Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Gartcosh
    Posts
    3,379

    Default

    Hi, not the easiest of situations to deal with but one that I definately wound. Your wedding day is so important to you and your H2B that you want people in the bridal party that will support you not someone who isn't interested. If it was me I would have a honest conversation and tell her that maybe she is better off just attending the wedding as a guest. Friendships can change over time and for some people it may mean that you don't see them. You don't say when u get married or if you have bought your BM dresses yet. Sorry probably not much help x

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dundee
    Posts
    16

    Default

    thanks for your reply! sorry i am new to th
    is, im getting married april 13, i have picked my bridemaids dresses but not bought them yet, i wish i had a strong enough personality to be honest xx

  4. #4
    Super Senior Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Gartcosh
    Posts
    3,379

    Default

    Welcome to the forum. It is stressful enough planning a wedding without you Bm's not supporting you. What does your H2b say? You are probably better talking to her now before you get any closer but I can understand it is not the easiest x

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dundee
    Posts
    16

    Default

    my h2b is unsure what to do, think he probably prefer we didnt cause any upset, and he knows im not good at comforting people! TBH he is sick of me moaning about the whole situation! my mum thiinks i should leave things be incase its causes problems between my h2b and his brother.

  6. #6
    Super Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    519

    Default

    Hey,

    Firstly, welcome to the forum.

    Secondly, what a a difficult situation for you. Everyone has tension at some point during the planning of their wedding and the one thing that needs to be remembered through every difficult time is that this is you and your H2Bs wedding, not anyone elses. I have had couple of issues myself and you just have to put you and H2B first.

    I agree with the other girls, maybe it would be good to speak to you BM on neutral territory (coffee shop or something) and explain to her how you are feeling. She might not have any idea about how this is making you feel.

    Hope this helps and you get things sorted.
    x

    P.S - I should really take some of my own advice

  7. #7
    Senior Member mcmilki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    229

    Default

    Is She engaged to your h2b's brother?? If not i bet she is just jealous of you!!!
    I wouldn't be able to confront her either but why don't you think of manipulating the situation to your advantage - if & when you can get with her - bring up the fact she felt you two would no longer be friends if it weren't for your partners, throw in a few comments about how that is sad etc etc, then let her know you wouldn't mind if she no longer wanted to be a bridesmaid - put it all on her but be as innocent & as sweet as pie about it!! HA X

  8. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dundee
    Posts
    16

    Default

    Hi All
    Thanks for all advice, feeling so much better about it all. I just need to remember the wedding is about me and h2b and forget about others who are not caring. She isnt engaged so maybe that is the problem. And if she doesnt to be my friend her loss eh
    thanks all xxx

  9. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Glenrothes
    Posts
    25

    Default

    i had the same problem with one of my bridesmaids, she didnt like anything i suggested and moaned about everything, so when it came to ordering bridesmaid dress's she wouldnt come to get mesaured to get the dress's so in the end we ended up telling her we no longer wanted her in our wedding party, and its upset my other half as its his best friend, and hes now no longer wanting them at our ceremony or meal. and they will only be invited to the evening.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •