Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: guests requests

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    184

    Default guests requests

    Hi ladies, looking for some advice! In the early stages for planning our wedding we decided we didn't want to have any children there. we don't have anything against kids it just that most of our friends have young kids as does our family and where do you draw the line.

    Anyways we sent out save the date cards and let it be known that we wouldn't be having any mini guests. Invites went out with same information. h2b cousin has come back to us a week after rsvp deadline and asked if their kids could come (they'd pay) or could the come a night? They're travelling up from yorkshire so i know its not easy but they've had at least a years notice. what do we do? My own brother with kids the same age is coming up from london sans kids. How can we make exceptions without offending other guests? Help, i don't like being the bad guy

  2. #2
    Super Senior Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Gartcosh
    Posts
    3,379

    Default

    Hi Sissy, I know it's difficult but if you have said no kids and been up front about you may just have to say no. We are in the same position with not inviting kids the only ones we are having are in the wedding party but before we decided this was what we were doing we sounded out our friends with little ones and they all said they would prefer a night on their own. Did they give any indication they would have a problem when you said no kids? X

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    168

    Default

    It's very hard but I.think you need to stay firm as then everyone will think the same, we are restricting our wee people as our venue has said they count as adults and I'd rather Have that x

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,029

    Default

    I think you have to stay firm and say no. I think if you explain the situation and say that you have told all your family and friends that kids aren't allowed it would be unfair to make an exception for them.

    I find this sort of request quite cheeky to be honest. You have made it clear from the beginning and they have know the situation from the beginning yet expect you to make an exception for them.

    I think if you explain that it's not about the money, it was a decision you made because of the number of kids your family and friends have and you wouldn't want to cause any upset to everyone else who had accepted this request. You understand if that means they can't come to the wedding now, however you would love it if they could make it (without the kids).

    I think it's a fair request as it's your wedding and they have known the situation for months.

    Good luck.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    184

    Default

    Thanks ladies. You guys have confirmed my thoughts on the matter really. We did discuss the issue of no kids with our families before going down this route and they supported our decision at the time. we knew it would difficult for them in particular but i find it v hard to believe that with u years notice u can't find a baby sitter. even a trusted friend.

    Thanks for the suggested wording amorickson - will pinch this in my reply. just need to man up

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Aberdeenshire
    Posts
    63

    Default

    Your post has made me feel better (not in a bad way) we got married in September 2011 and didn't have kids there. We only had 2 nephews a niece and a cousin (his mum was a divorcee and didn't go anywhere without her son) All of our other guests that had kids were delighted at the idea of a weekend away without them. I felt so bad about it but it would have meant another 54 people at our wedding. Don't feel back about it and if the rest of your family are ok with it stand your ground, after all its your day! I love this forum as it has made me feel better, just wish I'd known about it before our wedding.....

  7. #7
    Super Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Stirling
    Posts
    503

    Default

    We have a rule with our wedding-kids. If we've not met them, they're not invited!!!!!

    I have a very close family and all my cousins kids I've met on numerous occassions, cuddled them as babies, sang songs to them to help them sleep. My H2B has a few kids on his side he feels the same way about including a 13 year old 2nd cousin he basically considers to be his little brother! H2B's Dad is not happy though that a few cousins on his side who have kids are being invited without the kids. H2B has never met them, doesn't know their names so why would we invite them? We save about 15 spaces doing this!!!! If they ask on the day, I will be quite frank and say that due to budget and seating limitations it's children who know us only!!!!

    And as a little sidenote. The mother of the 13 year old actually spoke to us and said it's totally fine not to invite him as she understands he has only met me a few times. SO considerate! I told her that as far as I'm concerned he's very high up the list of invites and I would love for him to be there.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    109

    Default

    We are only having some children at our wedding, our daughter, our 4 nieces and nephews, my little brother and my cousins. I am very close to all my cousins and cannot imagine them not being there, however h2b's cousins and other guests children are not invited, this is mainly down to not really knowing/seeing them (ever) and costs and the whole 'can't invite them without asking their kids....' that could go on forever. Think it will be nice for the couples to have a day out without their kids, however we will be saying that they are more than welcome to come in the evening. Its a hard one but at the end of the day, its your wedding and people should be honoured to be asked to be a guest, ha x

  9. #9
    Super Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    519

    Default

    We are only having 2 children at the wedding.......flower girl and pageboy. If we invited everyone's children too, the list would be never ending. And we have said that kids can come in the evening. It all comes down to personal choice and what you want for your big day. My fiance has family coming up from England, including children, and we had to put pur foot down because outwith the wedding party, i feel that if we invite one persons children, we have to invite everyones. I'm a firm believer of either none or all And I completely agree vintage.bride, our wedding, our rules

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Edinburgh
    Posts
    184

    Default

    Hi ladies, glad to know we're not the only ones going down this route. in the end we stood our ground and went back to them and said we couldn't make any exceptions. H2B folks were raging that they've even raised it as they've known from the start. As FIL2B says you might upset the couple in question but you risk offending a lot more if you start making exceptions! Anyways still not had a reply to said message or their rsvp card - the deadline was 14th July. Via the jungle drums we've heard that they'll need to make a decision nearer the time!! H2B is going to chase them this weekend. have to say I'm loosing patience with them. afterall we've got plenty of folk we'd love to invite but can't aford to! Lets see what the weekend brings xx

  11. #11
    Senior Member thefuturemrsyoung's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Airdrie
    Posts
    450

    Default

    We're in a similar position too in that lots of our friends have children but we've decided that the only kids at the wedding are going to be close family. Atthe end of the day this is your wedding day its about you and h2b not about your guests so they shoyld respect your wishes xx

  12. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    South Lanarkshire
    Posts
    477

    Default

    I'm the same, I'm only having 5 young children and 3 who will be 11 and 12. All are family and two godsons.

    I'm a bit unsure how to word this on the invitations when the time comes, how did everyone else do this?


    X

  13. #13
    Super Senior Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Gartcosh
    Posts
    3,379

    Default

    Hi Collette, I will just be putting the name on the invite of who is invited but we have already spoken to everyone so there will
    Be no surprises x

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    South Lanarkshire
    Posts
    477

    Default

    Thank you, I thought so but I can imagine there will be a few unhappy people. Just need to have a wee chat before hand and explain.


    X

  15. #15
    Super Senior Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Gartcosh
    Posts
    3,379

    Default

    Thats what we did so not expecting
    any problems x

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •