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Thread: My best friend/bridesmaid has killed herself

  1. #1
    Super Senior Platinum Member MissMartin's Avatar
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    Default My best friend/bridesmaid has killed herself

    I don't know why I'm posting this on here.....perhaps it will make things slightly easier...I don't know.

    My best friend split up with her boyfreind on Friday and she was absolutely devastated, I tried to console her all weekend, went to pub, went for long walks, spoke for ages on the phone, but she was absolutely heartbroken.

    From Tuesday I've not been able to get in touch, and today I got the news I was dreading. I'm in a state of shock and devastation. I have cried so much the skin under my eyes is stinging.

    She was gorgeous, she had not long obtained her masters, highly intelligent and would turn heads wherever she went. She was so honoured to be asked to be a bridesmaid and loved coming to wedding shows and discussing plans.

    Now this......suddenly, she's gone. I can't handle it, suddenly a massive hole has appeared in my heart thats just never going to go away.

    I don't know if I can cope, this is honestly the worst day of my life. I know it seems selfish to think of the wedding, but how am I supposed to face shopping with the other 2 bridesmaids? it's going to seem more a task than anything else.

    I just wish I could turn back time, I want my beautiful friend to come back. Please can someone wake me up and tell me this is all a nightmare.......

  2. #2
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    What terrible sad news, must have been such a shock for you. So sad that this has happened at what should be such a happy time for you all. It sounds to me like you were such a loyal, supportive friend to her and were there for her no matter what. No one will be able to say anything to make you feel better right now, will just take time, all you can do is focus on all the lovely memories you have of her. Sometimes life is so unfair, my thought are with you xxx

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    Super Senior Platinum Member SpecialSundae's Avatar
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    Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can only imagine the pain you must be in.

    Were your other two bridesmaids friends of hers too? Perhaps get together, talk about your memories, think about the good times and the happy thoughts and cry your eyes out together.

    I know it probably doesn't help but *hugs*.
    Fairy Gokmother

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    There's nothing I can say except I am really sorry for all you're going through. Thinking of you.

  5. #5
    Super Senior Platinum Member MissMartin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialSundae View Post
    Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can only imagine the pain you must be in.

    Were your other two bridesmaids friends of hers too? Perhaps get together, talk about your memories, think about the good times and the happy thoughts and cry your eyes out together.

    I know it probably doesn't help but *hugs*.

    The 3 of them were strangers at first, but were slowly getting to know each other. I met with a few of my other friends today after we were given the news, but I had to leave as we had to get our kids from nursery.

    we were supposed to be going away this weekend with the kids and our in-laws, but they are just going to take them instead....I suppose it's good in the case that I'll be able to spend time with our friends, as it's been quite difficult having to look after the kids and try get on with this.

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    Member MrsFerguson2b's Avatar
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    Oh god, that is so sad. Poor girl, and so devastating for family and friends. Really tragic. My thoughts go out to you x

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    Senior Member dancingqueen 17's Avatar
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    My thoughts are with you at this sad time xxx

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    Super Senior Member thefuturemrscl's Avatar
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    There are no words I can think of to say to you, other than my thoughts are with you and the family and friends of this poor girl. Take care xxx
    Craig and Louise's Wedding Website

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    I'm so sorry for your loss and obviously there is nothing that I, or anyone can say to make you feel any better. All you can do is spend time with your friends and family and get as much support as you can. It will be difficult of course to think about the wedding and plan things without her, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to feel bad about anything. Perhaps you can honour her in some way on your day, if it's not too difficult for you.

    I hope things get a bit easier for you over the next few days and take care of yourself.

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    Really soory to hear of your sad loss, such a shame.
    It will be a really hard time for you to go dress shopping and your not being selfish in thinking about that at this sad time. Its a special day you should have shared together. Your other 2 bridesmaids will realise how difficult it is for you and help you through. Your friend would probably feel bad that you will need to go through this hard experiance but would still want you to enjoy every minute of your planning just like you had together before.
    Its maybe a bit soon to ask but maybe you could ask your friends mum for a piece of her jewellery for your something borrowed and still somehow include her in your day.
    Just remember she will be looking down hoping you have the best day ever as hard as it may be and there would be nothing wrong in having a wee tear on the day wishing she was there. X

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    Super Senior Platinum Member BalbirnieDreamer's Avatar
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    So so sorry to hear about your friend. Take care of yourself.
    Lx
    Craig and Laura's Wedding Website
    16th of June 2012

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    Super Senior Member cbaker1985's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry missmartin. It's a horrible thing to go through and my thoughts are with you and your friends. Xx

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    Super Senior Member MrsE's Avatar
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    Im so sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you and her family and friends. Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better, I speak from experience, lost my cousin to this a few years ago, and my heart is still broken. I went through disbelief, sadness and anger, now, I feel just sorrow at his loss. Give yourself space and time, talk to your friends and family, allow yourself time to grieve, the pain never goes away, but it gets easier to deal with day to day.

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    Senior Member lauracmw's Avatar
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    I am so very sorry to read this & my heart goes out to you & your friends family. I myself have been through a similar tragedy & the pain & sadness involved can be unbearable. I hope you & your friends are able to help one another through & reach a place where remembering your friend will replace the sadness in your heart with happiness. Big hugs to you.xx

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    Senior Member Miss Pinot Grigio's Avatar
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    My thoughts and prayers are with you...

    A long time ago someone gave me these lyrics and I have always found comfort in them, I hope in time they will comfort you too: http://www.metrolyrics.com/carry-me-...-de-burgh.html

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    Senior Member janee621's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with u and ur friends family. ((hugs to you)). xx

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    Super Senior Member Laurabelle84's Avatar
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    Aww Lorraine, I'm so so sorry. I don't really know wot to say, big hugs to u, such devastating news xx

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    Senior Member mrs-taylor-to-be's Avatar
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    How devastating for you and your friends family. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you all. Sending you lots of hugs

    xx

  19. #19
    b2bclaire
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    So sad to hear your news, hope you can manage somehow learn to cope with your loss.

    But, although this under Emotional Support, its maybe not hugely appropriate to write things like this on a forum, just my opinion, I know a terrible thing has happened but it's quite a shocking+upsetting read x

  20. #20
    Super Senior Platinum Member MissMartin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xlindax View Post
    Really soory to hear of your sad loss, such a shame.
    It will be a really hard time for you to go dress shopping and your not being selfish in thinking about that at this sad time. Its a special day you should have shared together. Your other 2 bridesmaids will realise how difficult it is for you and help you through. Your friend would probably feel bad that you will need to go through this hard experiance but would still want you to enjoy every minute of your planning just like you had together before.
    Its maybe a bit soon to ask but maybe you could ask your friends mum for a piece of her jewellery for your something borrowed and still somehow include her in your day.
    Just remember she will be looking down hoping you have the best day ever as hard as it may be and there would be nothing wrong in having a wee tear on the day wishing she was there. X
    This is a good idea....I will speak to her dad and see if I can incorporate something of hers into the day. I guess I lucky it's next year, which will give me some time.

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    Can only reiterate what everyone else has said already, terrible news. Thinking of you and your friends.

  22. #22
    Super Senior Platinum Member MissMartin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by b2bclaire View Post
    So sad to hear your news, hope you can manage somehow learn to cope with your loss.

    But, although this under Emotional Support, its maybe not hugely appropriate to write things like this on a forum, just my opinion, I know a terrible thing has happened but it's quite a shocking+upsetting read x
    I am upset and reaching out to others on this forum is my way of coping at the moment, I have labelled the topic the strongly so it does not have to be clicked into if not wanted. If other's feel this is inappropriate, please let me know and I will delete.

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    No, not inappropriate.

    I am so very sorry. I am thinking of you x

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    So sorry for your loss, what awful news- thinking of you, I lost a friend to this nearly 8 years ago and still think of him everyday. Give yourself time to grieve, put the wedding aside for now- hope you are okay xx

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    @b2bclaire everyone is entitled to there opinion but some people feel it easier to talk on here than to people in person. At lot of the brides 2 be have made online friends on this forum and have gave all sorts of advice some have been on the forum for a few years and feel like they really know each other. People get fed up of wedding talk and as brides let it take over ther lifes as miss martin says she feels selfish to think of her wedding its maybe easier to talk to other brides who understand than other friends or family who might think why is she thinking about that at a time like this. People react in all different ways and if her 1st thought was to post on here for support then so beat. At a time like this she doesn't need critisism. Miss martin nothing wrong in you posting on here for support at all.

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