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Thread: Rant - weans and weddings don't mix, not for me anyway...

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    Default Rant - weans and weddings don't mix, not for me anyway...

    My soon to be brother in law has just announced that him and his other half are due to have a baby in September.

    Screaming wean at my wedding was my first thought. Really don't like his other half, if I could have the wedding and not have her there I would. Now I'm going to have to put up with her wean as well.

    My bridesmaid ain't even bringing her two young boys cause she knows I'm not a baby person. (She offered to leave them at home btw)

    My wedding buzz has just been killed.... ARGGGHHHH!!

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    Super Senior Platinum Member BalbirnieDreamer's Avatar
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    I love children at weddings! There'll be a fair few at ours and I trust my friends/family to leave the ceremony if the younger kids get antsy!
    It's an important time in your future brother in laws life and I think you should be happy for him
    Lx
    Craig and Laura's Wedding Website
    16th of June 2012

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    Super Senior Member michellel's Avatar
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    How inconsiderate of them to clash the birth of their baby with your wedding!!

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    We were planning to say no kids/babies, but since we got engaged 9 of our guests have announced they are pregnant! First couple have just been born and last is due 1 week after. Most people have said they want to have a day out with the baby but a couple said they wouldn't come if they couldn't bring them so we' compromised and said only babies under 3 months. I'm not thrilled with the prospect as I think its an adult occasion but its important for me that my friends come than thats its baby free.

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    Super Senior Member tootsi4's Avatar
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    We said no kids other than family - we had 4 kids under 2 and a 4 year old. You might not like your sis in law but this is going to be your new niece/nephew.

    My OH friend got married a year or so before us and sent out the rudest no kids allowed instruction booklet - no kids allowed at our wedding. If you insist on bringing your children or you are breast feeding we have hired an extra room to enable you to bring someone to look after your child within the venue. There will be no kids at the wedding. Anyways she had her 2 month old at our wedding and sent me instructions of what and what not to do in preperation of her arrival. On the wedding video she is seen asking the usher to move people from their seats so she could breast feed up the back. Fair enough expcept she wasn't up the back, noone was sitting in front of her and we have 6 minutes of her preparing to breastfeed and eventually feeding the baby. Removing the breast pads, lowering her top and the baby latching on and everything. Worse part of the video.

    She also sent us a "really nice picture from the wedding" and it was a picture of her breastfeeding her baby! Only link to the wedding was the fact she was with the baby in the venue.

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    Super Senior Platinum Member missm2mrsf's Avatar
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    I'm not a fan of kids at weddings either, have just said due to numbers we aren't having children x

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    One of my bridesmaids announced last week that she is pregnant- she is single so will have to being the baby and honestly I feel really happy for her but also let down as I was hoping for a hen weekend abroad and a good party at the wedding, not compatible with a 9 month old baby!! So I do sympathise! There will be less than 10 kids at our wedding, and with the exception of the baby, all will be age 5-10 and I am hoping that they will entertain each other to be honest! Also thinking I might invest in lifejackets for them all as there is a lake thingy at the venue LOL! XxX

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    Super Senior Member MrsE's Avatar
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    I dont mind children at weddings, but as we are planning on having it outside and its on a lochfront, we have advised friends that it isnt child friendly. They have all agreed to leave children with babysitters, however, we will have 7 children who are nieces and nephews, and doesnt bother me in slightest.

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    For me a wedding is a formal adult occasion and not for kids. We're having our niece and nephew... 18 months and 4 weeks! But their parents will take them out as soon as they make any noise. We're going to put on invites that due to numbers that we're only having the children of immediate family. Our nephew is going to wear a wee kilt and waistcoat which will be cute

    I went to a wedding a few years ago where children cried and shrieked through the vows... Horrendous! :-/

    But given that this baby will be family for you, there's probably not much you can do other than to say that if he/she makes any noise then they must go out x

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    Senior Member April2013's Avatar
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    lol! You'd have a melt down at my wedding. We are having only children of the family at the wedding....a grand total of 22!!! To be honest, I couldn't imagine my wedding without them as we are all really close. Plus my venue has massive grounds (one of the reason for chosing it) so the kids can go and play...I am keeping my fingers crossed for no rain
    At the end of the day its your wedding and your choice. You could possibly suggest they are only there for the service and photos and then possibly a relative of your sister in law could pick up the baby and babysit?

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    I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but i have to say i think weddings are whole family affairs, and therefore kids being part of the family should be invited! Provided they can behave and have responsible parents of course, and i understand there are always reasons why people would prefer not too.
    That said i do understand the original post as my future brother in law to be and wife have just announced they are expecting (she is 6 weeks!) and the baby will be at our wedding, i do feel a bit like they are stealing our thunder!haha

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    Hmm difficult one! I've got 4 kids of my own and wouldn't be offended if I got an invite saying no kids, would suit me actually because I wouldn't have to kit them out with outfits lol! However that child will be your family and I think you should accept the child there but stipulate if he/she gets cranky to leave ceremony

    Louise

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    Super Senior Platinum Member missm2mrsf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missg View Post
    I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but i have to say i think weddings are whole family affairs, and therefore kids being part of the family should be invited! Provided they can behave and have responsible parents of course, and i understand there are always reasons why people would prefer not too.
    That said i do understand the original post as my future brother in law to be and wife have just announced they are expecting (she is 6 weeks!) and the baby will be at our wedding, i do feel a bit like they are stealing our thunder!haha
    i would say if i had kids in immediate family like neices or nephews id invite them. but qwe dont, we have cousins, friends kids and cousins kids.which i am delighted at cos means we are getting away pretty easy with saying no kids lol xxx

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    Senior Platinum Member Harajuku80's Avatar
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    I agree that Weddings are family affairs and we're going to have about 5 or 6 kids at ours, because they are part of our family! My wee nephew is as cute as a button and I can't wait to see him in his wee kilt! My h2bs neices and nephew will be coming too and probably my cousins wee girl but I can't wait to see them all and let them enjoy our day with us! I understand why some people don't want kids at their ceremony due to noise etc but I'm a family oriented person and can't wait to share our day with them x

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    Super Senior Platinum Member FutureMrsAdie's Avatar
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    I love kids at weddings. I think they make the day however I wouldn't be chuffed if there were kids crying and screaming throughout my ceremony! Especially as it's being filmed and when watching the DVD all you could hear was crying!

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    Super Senior Platinum Member missm2mrsf's Avatar
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    my friend got married and it was her own wee boy that cried all the way through lol xxx

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    Super Senior Member Laurabelle84's Avatar
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    We're not having kids at our wedding apart from family & my best friends wee girl who is my flower girl, this is purely for a numbers/budget reason thought and nothing else. I don't mind kids at weddings but everyone is different, can see why some people aren't so keen. TBH most of our friends would prefer not to take their kids so they can let their hair down for the day & have a few drinks without running about after a toddler so it wont be such an issue for us xx

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    Super Senior Member kimbo's Avatar
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    We are having an adult only wedding, discussed with all people who have kids and they are all delighted!!

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    We're not having any either, my neice is my bridesmaid but she will be a teenager by the wedding and my friend who has a wee girl is looking forward to a night off anyway. I'm not a fan of children and the thought of a screaming baby during the ceremony is a nightmare. Fair dues to all those that are having them though but not for me! lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by michellel View Post
    How inconsiderate of them to clash the birth of their baby with your wedding!!
    You took the words right out of my mouth Michellel.

    That being said I am not a child person. I like them, they're ok but I'd rather not have them at a wedding. If I thought I could get away with his niece's daughter not coming to the wedding I would. But it's just the way it goes sometimes.

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    Thanks for the comments ladies. I spoke to my other half and discussed my fears (honesty is the best policy even if it is hard) and he understands my fear about having a baby at the ceremony and how it could ruin our day by crying throughout and promises he'll have a word with his brother and ask if they would mind leaving the baby at home.

    Awkward situation but we'll work it out in the end.

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    Senior Member Voodooqueen's Avatar
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    Now thats exactly what im dreading. My son can be a wee terror when he wants to be, either that or he will want up for cuddles while were saying our vows.

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    Senior Member Voodooqueen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missm2mrsf View Post
    my friend got married and it was her own wee boy that cried all the way through lol xxx
    Now thats exactly what im dreading. My son can be a wee terror when he wants to be, either that or he will want up for cuddles while were saying our vows.

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    Quote Originally Posted by michellel View Post
    How inconsiderate of them to clash the birth of their baby with your wedding!!
    also took the words out of my mouth!

    i think that a lot of bride to be's (including myself in many ways) get soo caught up in the whole wedding planning-frenzy that they forget that there are other people/ family/ friends going through (arguably) more important steps in the lives whether its a new baby, new job or a new house. i dont think they intentionally do this to steal the brides thunder, but tbh i think you should be happy for them and you'll be like an auntie (albeit by marriage) and just explain its an adults-only wedding

    xx
    Getting Married at Lochside House - 15th June 2013

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    Super Senior Member michellel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrs breslin to be View Post
    also took the words out of my mouth!

    i think that a lot of bride to be's (including myself in many ways) get soo caught up in the whole wedding planning-frenzy that they forget that there are other people/ family/ friends going through (arguably) more important steps in the lives whether its a new baby, new job or a new house. i dont think they intentionally do this to steal the brides thunder, but tbh i think you should be happy for them and you'll be like an auntie (albeit by marriage) and just explain its an adults-only wedding

    xx
    I totally agree! That's what's great about this forum. Everyone understands how important each other's days are even if there are bigger things going on in the world. My sister is pregant and due 3 months before my wedding. My mum and dad are excited about the wedding but I'm pretty sure they are mostly looking forward to the birth of their first grandchild. It's lovely tho- I'm so happy for my sister and really looking forward to being an aunt. I'm glad I can channel my wedding related chat to the forum tho! X

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